Merriam and Webster’s dictionary defines uncomfortable as “causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort.” Some people, when thinking about what makes them uncomfortable, think about things they wear. Things, such as shoes, may feel comfortable when first put them on, however by the end of the day you can be so ready to slide your feet out of them and slip into something far more comfortable. Sometimes after eating a filling meal, the waistband on our clothes can make you wish you were wearing something stretchable because it is beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. My female friends will tell you that one of the most uncomfortable things they wear is a bra and many cannot wait to get home and take that off as soon as possible.
Being uncomfortable is not always physical pain or discomfort. Sometimes it is emotional, mental, and spiritual. A simple misunderstanding or a difference of opinion can create an environment in which people feel uncomfortable. For example, for the longest time it was uncomfortable for me to talk to my brother because we had a difference of opinion. He thought Rush Limbaugh should be president and I had a very different opinion, and still do, of him. Over time, however, my brother and I have been able to find a way of interacting with each other in a way that is comfortable for both of us. This happened because he changed his views on Rush Limbaugh and in part, because I changed my ability to deal with being in uncomfortable situations.
Being uncomfortable can cause us to want to avoid people, groups, situations, or clothing apparel that are just not comfortable. Sometimes that is possible. Sometimes it just isn’t. If you have a pair of shoes that hurt your feet and are uncomfortable to wear, the solution is simple – stop wearing them. On the other hand, when we are faced with an uncomfortable social situation, we have to make a conscious choice about how we respond to the discomfort. Is the discomfort so stressful that at this point in one’s journey, it is best to avoid the situation? Is it uncomfortable, but one in which you are able to create a way of being in the situation without it being emotionally, mentally, or spiritually damaging. For example, someone I know has an uncomfortable situation with her brother. It is not a situation she can avoid. However, she has created a way of spending time with him in the outdoors, which energizes her and makes the time with him less uncomfortable.
Sometimes, finding ourselves in an uncomfortable situation is one Spirit has called us to embrace and to allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. What is the lesson we are to be learning about ourselves? How will it assist us in our spiritual journey and evolution? What is the discomfort challenging us to work on within ourselves? Recently, I was talking with a Christian friend of mine about the Pentecost because for me it is a great example of how people dealt with being uncomfortable. For those unfamiliar with Christian beliefs, Pentecost is a Christian holy day that celebrates the coming of the Holy Spirit 40 days after Easter. In retrospect, Biblical scholars know quite a bit about this. However, for the 120 people who were asked to all go to this one room and stay there until they were baptized with the Holy Spirit it was not. The problem was they had no sense of how long they were going to be there.
So there they were 120 people locked in 1 room for what turned out to be 10 days. We are all members of constructed communities, like churches, companies, etc. However, we are not locked in a room with each other, so we have the freedom to choose not to work on reconciling our relationships with each other or with God. So what do you think would happen if all the churches in Rochester closed down and gathered at the Blue Cross Arena, or whatever the biggest space in Rochester is, for two weeks with nobody being the pastor, no liturgy, no rituals, no order, and nobody in charge but God? How do you think the people would respond? Would they huddle off in their little corners by themselves being cliquey while they waited on God, or would they be wandering around introducing themselves to all these other believers and focusing on their relationships with others?
What I said to my friend was that on one level, it seems as if it would be so cool because after all they all believe in Jesus right. On the other hand, for some of them it would be scary. What power dynamics might break out? Who might wind up struggling with what or whom? Who would be the Gentiles in the mix? Whom would they need to forgive? If we were part of that gathering, who would we need to forgive us. Would we be able to work beyond the socially constructed boundaries of race, ethnicity, class, gender, sex, sexuality, ability? Would we be able to dismantle the systems of racism, sexism, heterosexism, classism, ageism, ableism, and all the other isms in the world?
Being in that uncomfortable situation for an unknown period of time, eventually led to people stepping out of their little corners and building relationships with each other and creating an inclusive community here on earth. It happened when the people realized that the Infinite is love and that love is for everyone and began acting on it. The most powerful manifestations of the Divine I have seen in my life have happened when people have formed alliances with each other, loving each other unconditionally and working through the uncomfortable moments together to do justice in this world.
Sometimes we find ourselves in
uncomfortable situations so that we can grow and evolve and remember the
Infinite loves each of us. We all need to hear that God is love and that God’s
love is for everyone. So just for today, be uncomfortable and let’s be
intentional about working on ourselves and our relationships with the Divine
and learn to recognize the Divine in those we are locked in the room with at
the moment. Sometimes being uncomfortable is a blessing.