There are many strategies you can take to improve your communication skills to work through disagreements in the workplace, and foster a more open, and accepting environment.
Here are a few of this strategies:
Do not respond with emotion.
Oftentimes, when we are feeling emotional we say things that we don’t necessarily mean. They can be hurtful, irrational, or even harmful. It is helpful to avoid responding to a disagreement in an emotional manner. Leadership programs, such as the equine assisted program at HorseDream Canada, reveal that we pick up on human emotions such as agitation, frustration, or contempt quickly in one another. Nobody will want to work through a disagreement with you if they can sense you are having a negative emotional reaction to them.
Take time to think about their point of view.
Rather than immediately responding emotionally, it can help to take some time to truly think about what they are trying to say and where they are coming from. Oftentimes, we are blinded by our own point of view, and it may take time to process the “why” of another’s perspective.
Acknowledge the validity of your co-worker’s perspective.
Once you have thought about their perspective, you should acknowledge to the other person that you have done so. Everyone likes to feel validated, and once you have shown that you have thought about the strengths of their perspective, they will be more likely to want to engage in a positive and constructive conversation with you.
Express yourself in a non-confrontational manner.
Now that you have engaged in a constructive conversation with them, be sure that it remains positive. Make sure your words are non-confrontational and that your body language is indicative of openness. This includes avoiding blame and instead focusing on mutual respect. For example, rather than saying “your idea doesn’t make sense”, try taking a more constructive approach such as, “I don’t understand one part of your idea, could you explain it more?” Here, you are giving them an opportunity to explain themselves in a confined matter that is less likely to overwhelm either of you.
To make sure your body language is indicative of openness, be sure not to close off your body from them. Make eye-contact, smile to show kindness, and avoid crossing your arms or leaning in too much (this can appear disinterested or agitated).
Look to their body language for reactions.
Similarly, look to them for signs that they are engaged in the conversation and are taking it seriously. If their body language is indicating that they are closed off to a conversation, you have to be aware that your efforts may not be working.
Try to think of alternatives or compromises.
Rather than reaching an uncommon perspective, look to alternatives that could meet the needs you are both invested in. Oftentimes there are many ways to get to the same place, and most people will be satisfied that their perspectives have been considered and partially included in a compromise.
Be willing to accept that “winning” does not mean your view was accepted.
When it comes to workplace disagreements, winning and losing should not be viewed in the conventional sense. You have “won” when you both can walk away from the disagreement with mutual respect and understanding for one another, and a decision that is best for your shared workplace.