Work to remain calm. It is normal for the topic of suicide to evoke anxiety and apprehension,
even in experienced mental health counselors.
It may help to remember that you are responsible for the process (e.g., assisting
the student in seeking help from a professional), not the
outcome (e.g., solving the student's problems).
Be a good listener. Listening to the student is more important than coming up with
the "right thing" to say. Check out your
understanding of what the student is saying. You might say something like, "Let me
see if I understand . . ." and then paraphrase for the
person what you've heard them say to you.
Be non-judgmental. It is typically not helpful to debate whether suicide is right
or wrong, moral or immoral, or to lecture the person on the
value of life. Remember, your primary goal is to have the person openly share thoughts
and feelings with you so that you can better
understand his or her situation and secure needed help.
State directly that you care about the person. You might say to the person, "I'm concerned
about you...about how you feel" or "You mean a lot
to me and I want to help" or "I'm on your side...we'll get through this together."
STEP 2 - ASK FRANKLY ABOUT SUICIDE
Ask "Has it gotten so bad that you thought about suicide/killing yourself?" It is
important that you ask calmly and directly about suicide.
Your frankness will communicate to the person that you care and that it is safe to
talk about this "taboo" subject with you and demonstrate
that while this topic may be scary for you to discuss you’re willing to go there with
Ask follow-up questions, such as: "What was your plan for how you would kill yourself?" "Do you have access to what you would need
to carry out your plan?" "Have you ever tried to hurt or kill yourself in the past?" "Are you able to see things getting better in
the future?" The risk of suicide increases if the person (1) has a specific plan and the means
to carry it out, (2) has made past
suicide attempts, and (3) feels helpless and hopeless about the future.
Do not fall into the "confidentiality trap". Once you believe that a student is at
risk of committing suicide, you must never agree to keep
this information secret or confidential. The student may say, "You're making this
worse than it already is," but despite any protest by the
student, you must relay information about the situation to the Counseling Center,
UT Police, Residence Life, or some other responsible
professional party. One helpful strategy is to point out the bind in which the suicidal
student is placing you. You might say, "On one hand,
you're expressing these serious desires to end your life, and on the other hand, you're
basically asking me to ignore what you're telling
me. Do you see the bind that puts me in? If you were in my situation, what would you
do?" Whatever you do, do not keep a secret that may
cost a life.
If the person refuses to seek help, contact the Counseling Center, UT Police, or Residence
Life. If all else fails, you may have to take a
more assertive, even authoritarian, approach. You might say something like, "When
a person tells me things like you have today, I feel
obligated as someone who cares about you to do all that I can to stop you from hurting
yourself." If the situation occurs during a weekday,
you should call or come to the Counseling Center and ask for assistance. After normal
working hours and on weekends, you should contact
University of Toledo Police.
STEP 3 -REFER THE PERSON TO THE COUNSELING CENTER 419.530.2426
Your goal now is to get them into the hands of a mental health professional. For most
students, the best initial referral option is the
Counseling Center. Located in 1810 Rocket Hall, the Counseling Center provides a variety
of free, confidential services to assist a suicidal
student and others who are concerned about him or her.
You might say something like "Let's talk to someone who can help you feel better.
. . Let's get in touch with the folks at the Counseling
Center right now."
Remember, your role is not to take on the person's problems or to provide counseling.
Your primary goal should be to get the suicidal person
into the care of the mental health specialists in the Counseling Center. Here's how:
Call the Counseling Center at 419.530.2426 between 8:15AM and 5PM, Monday through
Friday. When you call the Counseling Center, the support
staff will identify a staff member to work with the student.
After 5PM, over weekends, or when there is imminent danger, call the University of
Toledo Police at 419.530.2600. The dispatcher will gather
information about the situation and, if necessary, contact the Counseling Center on-call
The University of Toledo Police should also be your first call when there is imminent
risk of harm to the person for example if he or she is
intoxicated, violent, or unconscious.
Do not leave the person alone. UT faculty, staff, and students often escort students
in crisis to the Counseling Center to provide comfort
and reassurance, and this type of support is critical with acutely suicidal students.
It is also important to remove firearms, drugs, sharp
objects, and anything else that could be used in an impulsive suicide attempt. However,
if you feel in danger of being harmed by the person,
leave the area and call the University of Toledo Police (419.539.2426) or 911.
Let the individual know that Counseling Center services are free and confidential.
Suicidal students are often concerned about the cost of
receiving crisis services and, even more commonly, about who will know about their
Remind the individual that the decision to seek help is a courageous, mature choice.
Because of the stigma that is still associated with
mental health issues, people often mistakenly see going to counseling as a sign of
weakness. To counter this belief, frame the decision to
seek counseling as a mature choice which suggests that the person is not running away
from their problems.
STEP 4 - FOLLOW UP WITH THE PERSON AFTER THE APPOINTMENT.
The counseling process is often most difficult at the very beginning, particularly
for suicidal students in crisis, and your follow up
support may help to get the person over this initial hurdle.