How to Remember Names
One of the best ways to make a favorable first impression
— and to get ahead socially or in business — is to
remember people's names.
"A person's name is to
him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any
You can improve your ability to remember names if you
follow these four steps:
Begin by making a commitment — a conscious decision
— to remember people's names.
Don't let yourself off easy, blaming a "bad
memory." Forgetting names is due less to a bad
memory than to a lack of application. Tell yourself — because it's true
— that you can remember names if you
want to and if you work at it.
Before going to a meeting or a party or anywhere you
might meet people, remind yourself of your commitment.
And recommit yourself: "I will make my best effort
to remember the names of the people I meet."
You can only remember what you observe in the first
place. If you are distracted or if you aren't paying
attention, you won't register the person's name so you
can't possibly remember it. Concentrate, then, on 1)
paying attention to the person's name when you first
hear it, and 2) forming an impression of the person.
- Listen to the person's name. If you miss it or
find a few seconds later that you've already
forgotten it, say "I'm sorry I missed your
name. Can you give it to me again?" If you
still have trouble with it, say, "I'm sorry,
but would you spell that out for me?"
- Get a clear, detailed impression of the person.
The more vividly you observe people's physical
characteristics, the more likely you are to remember
them. Use all of your senses to form the most
striking impression possible.
Repetition helps engrave the name in your memory.
- Use the name immediately.
- Repeat it silently to yourself.
- Comment on the name, if possible.
- Use it occasionally in the conversation without
- Use it when leaving.
- Write it down afterwards.
Try to make an association between the person's face
and an image the name suggests. If you exaggerate the
image — make it larger, say — and give it movement
— have it slam into some feature of the person's face, for
example — you will make the image even more memorable.
Even if you can't create an image for the name, don't
despair. Just by working on it, just by trying to figure
out an image that goes along with the name, you have
reinforced your memory.
If you remember visual images most easily, try
creating an image based on the name and linking it to
some physical characteristic of the person.
- Imagine a ham that weighs a ton spinning on the
end of Mrs. Hamilton's nose.
- Picture an old-fashioned car jack under Jack's
- See margarine melting through Margaret's curly,
If you are more attuned to sounds, make a
rhyme, associating the name with your impression of the
person. Or link the person's name to a song lyric.
- Dave needs a shave.
- Latrice is Patty's niece.
- Michelle, ma belle. (The Beatle's tune)
If you are more comfortable dealing with sensory feelings
and gut instincts, try linking the name to the
impression the person makes or to a reaction you have to
- Martin Peck is a pain in the neck.
- Suzanne Patterson has sweaty palms.
- Paula is pushy.
All this takes time and energy and that's the point. It
makes people feel important. It wins you their good will.
And it opens the door to successful relationships.
See also Communication Tips.
Chris Witt, a coach based in San Diego, works with
executives and with technical experts who want to give
more effective presentations. If you're interested
in learning more about how you could benefit from his
coaching, contact him for a complimentary