"30 Commandments of Inter-faith Dialogue"
By Imam Yahya Hendi
Reflecting on 15 years of experience in inter-religious dialogue activities:
1. Thou shall keep in mind that inter-religious dialogue means an exchange and not a disputation.
2. Thou shall understand that successful inter-religious dialogue is measured in terms of (A) increased understanding of the other and (B) appreciation of difference that leads to bridge building.
3. Participants in inter-religious dialogue shall act as partners if provided they are truly ready to dialogue.
4. Thou shall remember that readiness for inter-religious dialogue means really knowing your own tradition first, and possessing a desire to know other traditions.
5. Thou shall avoid making inter-religious dialogue personal.
6. Thou shall never apologize for what is authentic in your own tradition.
7. Though shall express your belief primarily within the tradition you represent and not by contrasting it with other traditions.
8. Thou shall be quick to apologize and slow to take offense. And never be too arrogant to say, “I am sorry.”
9. In areas of conflict, thou shall raise your concern as a question rather then an accusation or statement of outrage.
10. Thou shall accept the passion which others bring to the dialogue.
11. Thou shall be open to change your opinion.
12. Thou shall learn about the other faiths from within his or her tradition, not from without.
13. Thou shall examine yourself before you do so to the others.
14. Thou shall seek to tell your story without fear and yet to seek not to offend others.
15. Thou shall listen to others’ stories and do not seek to undermine them.
16. Thou shall pay attention to what you hear the other saying and before responding, pay attention first to how your feelings have been affected.
17. Thou shall not belittle nor misinterpret a smile.
18. Thou shall avoid decisive issues at the beginning.
19. Thou shall tell the truth.
20. Thou shall be inclusive in your language and actions.
21. Thou shall be patient.
22. Thou shall not assume that you already know what the others will say.
23. Thou shall seek to engage and depend on on personal relationships of trust.
24. Thou shall be courageous.
25. Thou shall be compassionate.
26. Thou shall keep in mind that humility is a virtue.
27. Thou shall have hope.
28. Thou shall be sensitive to each other’s culture, body language, needs and desires.
29. Thou shall be clear about your own goals.
30. Thou shall use language and terms carefully.