During the Research years at The Mighty Boeing when The Orphan had time to learn many new things, The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman learned to dance together.
They took classes at the Mercer Community Center taught by Cavernous Carl and Luscious Louise (Carl and Louise Burtch), using the “Easy Ed Cheney Way.” After The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman had become superior dancers, their dance teachers came to them and asked,
“…We would like for you to become dance instructors and travel The South Pacific for six-weeks on a Matson Line Steamship named the S.S. Monterey, but you must leave right away… ”
The S.S. Monterey
The Orphan explained that he could not leave because of his work at The Mighty Boeing and because his two children would become orphans also.
Cavernous Carl said they could fill the immediate need, but that there was another sailing in six weeks, and The Orphan could have those six weeks to get his act together – while explaining that this was an opportunity of a lifetime…
So The Orphan found a way to take time from work, and Germanic Gerend and his wife offered to take care of their two children (as told in Chapter Six of
The Adventures of The Little Orphan Granny and The Mighty Boeing Company).
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman attended a veritable marathon of lessons, five nights a week for five weeks with teachers south of Tacoma, Washington, nearly forty miles away.
They learned to do exhibition dancing and to teach dancing. These teachers were courteous and really put the polish on The Orphan – who again learned the lesson of ‘…being only an egg…” to be learned again and again as long as The
Orphan was sentient.
The Mighty Boeing did a stellar job on The Orphan’s plan to be away for six weeks -- once Brilliant Bill was made to understand by The Kentucky Woman that they were going to go on the trip,
“…even if it was the six weeks between jobs…”
Between vacation time and a special thing called “…leave with pay…,” The Orphan missed no paydays and was able to continue house payments and such – plus he was paid a salary by the Matson Line and had an on-board expense account!
However, The Mighty Boeing got their money’s worth as The Orphan returned with greater poise and comfort in facing new challenges in the unknown – plus fit, graceful and tanned.
The biggest out-of-pocket expenses were the two round-trip tickets on Western Airlines to San Francisco, shopping for evening wear for The Kentucky Woman, and renting tuxedos and accessories for The Orphan for six weeks.
The first step to prepare for the cruise as a crewmember of a ship visiting foreign ports was to apply to and obtain from the U.S. Coast Guard “…Z…” cards. These “…Z…” cards served a passports for all of the stops to be made on the trip and let The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman legally
join the Purser’s Department of the S.S. Monterey.
After The Orphan obtained this card, he felt as if he were a real sailor!
As can be seen from the overall schedule of dance training plus the cruise schedule, the time away from the children was really almost twelve weeks. As the time to depart neared, The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman tried to reassure their children that this was a neat adventure for them
too – but the children were having none of it and gave many wary looks from their giant blue eyes.
At long last the day arrived and The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman departed from Seattle for San Francisco.
On arrival and after finding a hotel, The Orphan searched the San Francisco harbor to find the ship. Imagine the awe when the “…eggs…” first saw the giant ocean liner, the S. S. Monterey.
After another search The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman found the ship’s office and reported to the Chief Purser to sign “ship’s papers” and to receive assignments and things.
The team was assigned a private first class stateroom on the main deck (the ship was an all first class passenger/cargo ship with staterooms for 365 passengers) and was told that there would be a reserved table for two for them for both dinner “seatings.”
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman immediately went to their stateroom and unpacked their clothes and things – particularly the formals. All dinners at sea required formal wear -- either black tie or white tie -- for both dinner seatings and the rest of each evening.
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman were to have a special status because they were both Passengers with all passenger privileges (even with room and maid service) and also Crew with all crew privileges.
They also learned that the cruise would entail a total of three weeks at sea and three weeks in the various ports of call.
Their itinerary was:
San Francisco departure
Los Angeles, California
Bora Bora, Society Islands of French Polynesia
Papeete, Tahiti, Society Islands of French Polynesia
Auckland, New Zealand
Noumea, New Caledonia
Pago Pago, American Samoa
and back to San Francisco.
A 1956 ad for the new Matson Liners Mariposa and Monterey, with a slightly different itinerary than that of The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman
When at sea in between ports, The duties of The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman were to teach a daily one-hour dance class, attend a daily formal dinner, attend any special parties set up by fellow passengers (the reason for a reserved table at both dinner seatings), make use of their
expense account in the night club by buying drinks, dancing, starting “snowballs” (getting up to dance as a couple – and then, when the music paused, each to go out to tables in the nightclub and grab a new partner – repeated over and over until the whole nightclub was dancing), cutting up in general and being as entertaining as possible.
Occasionally there were “show nights” with some special theme when a part of the show was The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman performing “exhibition” dances for the entertainment and amazement of the other passengers – all while under a spotlight with the full orchestra playing.
The Orphan dutifully overcame his innate shyness and did his very best!
When in port, they could spend their time as they pleased. But use of the amenities of the ship was available as wanted – and enormously cheaper.
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman toured as much of each port of call as possible and became seasoned travelers – and frankly had a ball.
And – oh yes – The Orphan was paid a handsome salary by the Matson Line.
The Orphan and The Kentucky woman rode cable-cars, saw Nob Hill, visited seafood restaurants on the wharf and walked all over down and up town while in San Francisco. They were now sailors in their first port-of-call.
From San Francisco to Los Angeles was actually a shakedown for the 225 crew members as most of the 365 passengers boarded in Los Angeles. While in Los Angeles, The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman visited Disneyland.
Later, during a showing of the travel movies after the return home, the children learned about their parents having gone alone to Disneyland. They reacted with shocked indignation – even after The Orphan hastily explained that the visit was a recon for an upcoming trip for the
children. Whew! Believe-you-me, they all went to Disneyland the next summer.
It took almost a week of sailing to reach Bora Bora in the Society Islands of French Polynesia, so The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman got their sea-legs and became so accustomed to the roll of the ship (even with their roll stabilizers) that when ashore the land seemed to be rocking
They took a wonderful walk on a path through palm trees to a local village on Bora Bora where Fiji Beer was served. Tee shirts and shorts were the choice of wear there. Both The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman remember giving away their box lunch contents to little dusky brown-eyed
children who dogged their steps both ways. These children had learned the value of accompanying cruise ship passengers whenever the ships were in port.
The stay on Bora Bora was short and they were soon on the way to the port town of Papeete, the capital of Tahiti, another Society Island.
Imagine the thrill of sitting under the open thatched roof in Quin’s Bar on the waterfront in Papeete as they had seen in so many films (Quin’s Bar is gone now – so it can only live on in The Orphan’s memories, but it reminded The Orphan of the South Pacific bars with rattan furniture
and big overhead fans shown in films like Donovan’s Reef, with John Wayne and Lee Marvin, or Seven Sinners, with John Wayne and Marlene Dietrich.)
The Kentucky Woman was amazed that sitting on the laps of the Tahitians in Quin’s Bar was safe for her but would not have been safe for The Orphan! The Orphan was a naïve orphan (The Real Granville was strangely quiet during the whole cruise except for a rude noise here and there that
sounded like a wet Bronx cheer).
While in Tahiti, they took a day cruise to another Tahitian island, Moorea, portrayed as the island of Bali Ha’i in South Pacific (and in the background of the Quin's Bar sign). On the way there and back, they watched with amazement as flying fish flew -- all around the boat.
The next leg was to Auckland, New Zealand, a big city.
When they crossed the International Date Line just east of Auckland, The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman discovered King Neptune’s tradition of “Crossing the Line.” They were made to sit in their swimwear on a block of ice, smeared with raw eggs and painted, then showered with a cold
saltwater hose before being tossed in the ship’s swimming pool. “Crossing the Line” is a centuries-old mariners’ ritual for first-time crossers of any major meridian or line – especially the Equator or the International Date Line.
Those who have crossed the equator are termed “shellbacks” (often called “trusty shellbacks”) and those who have not are called “pollywogs” (also rendered “polliwog”). These pollywogs (or “wogs” for short) must endure the entire ceremony at the hands of the shellbacks
before being accepted into their number; those who complete the ceremony while also crossing the International Date Line are termed “golden shellbacks” because the International Date Line is known as the “realm of the golden dragon.”
Arriving in New Zealand was almost like pulling up to the Port in Seattle but with sheep on the hillsides instead of tall buildings. Auckland did have a landmark tree, appropriately named “One Tree Hill,” with one lone pine tree and a tomb of the Father of Auckland, Sir John Logan
Campbell, on its top.
Thousands of sheep -- and one dog -- on a New Zealand hillside
One adventure was a trip to a restaurant in New Zealand Maori country “bush.” Nothing was recognizable on the menu except “chips” – which turned out to be French Fries. Deciding to be wary of local unrecognized cuisine, they ordered chips. After a massive failure to communicate on what
either Catsup – or even Ketchup – was, one of the natives brought a can of tomato sauce.
New Zealand is truly a different world.
The Orphan loved the “feel” of New Zealand and was determined to revisit in the future with much more time available -- and did so both with his friend Pepe Le Bell – during The Orphan and Pepe Le Bell Tour the South Seas in
The Later Adventures – and then again in a later life with an “…intermediate wife…” named The Mysterious Eastern Woman (TMEW).
The Orphan is now planning to do so even again with the final and permanent wife, The Boot.
Sydney, Australia, was another big city. Unfortunately, The Kentucky Woman was temporarily “ailing,” and they did not see much, except The Orphan did visit the “bush” inland where he saw the Three Sisters rock formation in the Blue Mountains National Park, just outside of Sydney. There
he also saw a memorial celebrating a visit from some English Queen for something or another.
The Orphan is not much interested in royalty except for his friend Prince Andrew – who still owes The Orphan a helicopter ride from Buckingham Palace to Stonehenge and back! (This story will be told in The Mighty Boeing stories and happened at a dinner with The Prince and The Orphan and
The Giant while The Orphan was Director of Engine Programs.)
Many passengers disembarked in Auckland and Sydney, and The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman had to bid many of their newly made friends -- of three weeks -- farewell.
The Orphan missed his new friends and even kept in touch with two Australian families for some time – one a Chrysler dealer from Sydney and the other an apple grower from Melbourne.
A new set of friends had to be made for the sail back to America, as many new passengers also boarded in Auckland and Sydney for the trip to San Francisco.
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman had many more adventures with their new friends, the crew and some of the more interesting passengers. There were dance class adventures, exhibition dances, and wild parties.
It should be noted that if there was any failure in The Orphan’s dance class “…assignment…” it was because he was more interested in having the students learn to dance that to have them just have a good time. Remember The Orphan’s Motto.
One exhibition dance was during a storm while crossing The Tasman Sea from New Zealand to Australia. The Orphan and the Kentucky Woman learned what it was like to take a dance step not knowing whether the floor underfoot was falling rapidly or rising rapidly and what the slope would be
and which way. One time the floor fell away so far that ash trays went flying off the tables and just as The Orphan was about to put his other foot down, the dance floor came back up so far that his knee hit him in the chin.
When it was time to call it a night, The Orphan washed Dramamine down with Manhattans and wondered how that would work. The answer was “…very, very well…” and The Orphan re-learned the Dramamine and Manhattan solution to nausea several more times!
Wild parties are the same everywhere, but The Orphan did learn from an Aussie Woman that The Orphan did NOT have an Australian “fanny.” Only women did.
And there was a wondering, startled look on the face of The Kentucky Woman when an Australian guy said,
“…Auw right then, I'll knock you up about 8:00…" (Later she learned that the knock-up would be on the door -- for a game of deck tennis, of course.)
One of the passengers was a gracious elderly lady named Kresge – who owned all the Kresge and Kmart stores in the world. The Orphan had not heard of the Kresge stores – but a similar store named Kress had been throughout the South during his youth.
(S. S. Kresge Company had been founded in 1899 by Sebastian Spering Kresge, who died at age 99 in October, 1996, just following this cruise. S. S. Kresge Co. had opened its first Kmart department store in 1962, four years earlier, and all the remaining Kresge stores officially changed
their name to Kmart later in 1977.)
The wealthy Lady K was fascinated that a graduate engineer working for The Mighty Boeing was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean teaching dancing and other things.
Next was Noumea, New Caledonia, where McHale used to take his navy PT boat for R&R. Neither The Orphan nor The Kentucky Woman could find any trace of McHale, his PT boat or his Navy.
Suva, on the Fijian Island of Viti Levu, was so green that it almost radiated its intense green. The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman toured as much of this beautiful island by taxi as they could.
Later The Orphan would return with his friend Pepe Le Bell, and much later The Orphan would visit Fiji yet again -- with a different wife -- The Boot.
Then on to Pago Pago (pronounced Pango Pango), a harbor town in American Samoa, which was by now “…just another…” Pacific Island for the now jaded and sophisticated travelers.
The S.S. Monterey in port at Pago Pago, American Samoa
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman were tired of fancy menus with Pheasant-under-Glass, Braised Kangaroo Tails and such stuff and were getting really hungry for American-style Spaghetti Bolognese, hot dogs, hamburgers, fried chicken and such – and were becoming very homesick. Telephone
calls were not made from ships in 1966.
On arrival in Honolulu, on the island of Oahu, Hawaii, the first thing The Orphan did was find a taxi to race to the only Italian restaurant – where – sigh -- The Orphan glutted on Spaghetti Bolognese, his favorite pasta.
The Orphan and The Kentucky Woman also rented a red Mustang convertible and toured the island, and drove by the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor on their way to the Polynesian Cultural Center.
San Francisco was next. The Orphan tore off for the airport so fast that he never signed off the ship – and may still be a fugitive from the U.S. Coast Guard.
When The Orphan arrived home, he was punished and avoided by his too-long-orphaned children, and had to work to reunite the family into a team.
But The Orphan was forever changed by this first world adventure, far far away from his humble beginnings in Walnut, Mississippi.