Our greatest challenge is to learn new parenting techniques to maintain our positive relationship with them. Here are a few tips gathered from a variety of sources to help give a perspective overview.
From the parent’s point:
- There will be changes in our routines. Without one (or more) at home there was less laundry, dishes and cleaning that was needed. With everyone returning, a discussion would be helpful to decide what roles and responsibilities will be for the summer.
- Expectations are an important part of the plan. For example, if the teen has been responsible for laundry throughout the school year, are they to continue that or could that be exchanged for keeping the yard work done or some other task they would rather do? Maybe it makes more sense to combine laundry for a full load and trade washing the car or cooking dinner once a week.
- Remember that one of the goals of becoming an adult is to exhibit good character. As parents, we can model compromise, communication and respect for them as they reflect the same to us. They have been responsible for their behavior, their schedule and their responsibilities for the last 9 months without us, so we hope that they can continue when returning home. There’s value in them telling us what their plans are for the evening (that’s respect so we don’t worry), and following through with what they promise (being trustworthy).
From the young adult’s point of view:
- Remember that the household routine may have changed and things may have transitioned away from the way it used to be. Try and accept the change and be as cooperative and helpful as possible.
- Be considerate. You may have been used to loud music and lack of a detailed schedule when you were in an environment where everyone else had the same objective. You are now back into an environment where routine and schedule will play a large role for everyone’s happiness.
- It’s natural to want to reconnect with friends. There will be challenging schedules to work around with summer jobs, but remember to be considerate and share your plans with your parents, without taking advantage of situation.
- Communicate with your parents what you think is fair and reasonable in expectations for the summer. You were responsible to get things done while you were gone, there’s no reason to forget all of that in returning home. Come to an agreement about household chores, and other responsibilities so that there will be less misunderstandings.