Most people (especially historians) underestimate the importance of facial hair in history. For instance, Hitler’s mustache allowed him to conquer most of Europe, while the hairless Winston Churchill didn’t even try. Of course, Stalin’s far-bushier mustache struck terror into the hearts of German soldiers, who turn and ran. Stalin’s stache terrified Russian citizens as well, especially when it held chunks of food, allowing him to stay in power for years.
If Hitler had had a full beard, everything would’ve turned out differently.
I thought of this while reading an obituary for Zvonko Busic, a Croatian nationalist who highjacked a jetliner in 1976 and demanded Croatia’s independence from Yugoslavia. Like all highjackers, he was caught (highjackers seem to overlook the fact that you can’t hide inside a plane and they contain very little food, especially if its an American airline). Zvonko was jailed.
But get this — Zvonko escaped from a federal prison. He placed a dummy in his bed while he dug under the fence. And guess what he used to camouflage the dummy to perfection? Yup, he shaved off his beard and glued it to the dummy’s head!
Total genius maneuver. But it gets better. Four years after the Great Facial Hair Escape, Croatia was granted independence from Yugoslavia. The Yugoslav leaders realized they were up against and unstoppable beard.
Never underestimate the power of facial hair. Lincoln had a full on beard, while Jefferson Davis (the Confederate leader) was clean-shaven. Lincoln won. Coincidence? I think not.