by Diana Raab, Ph.D.
Remember when your mother used to say, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it”? Well, that statement is all about voice. Your voice conveys your attitude, mood, and relationship to life. Your tone is the voice readers hear when they’re reading, and your voice affects how the reader responds to those words. When writing, it’s important to maintain a consistent attitude throughout your essay, memoir, or short story.
Novice writers sometimes have difficulty with this concept, but there are definitely ways to find your authentic voice. In general, in personal writing the best voice is conversational and sometimes playful.
Writer Patricia Hampl says that the best way to write a story is to think, You tell me your story and I will tell you mine. In other words, when writing, try to imagine that you’re talking to a dear friend or relative over lunch. Make believe that you’re speaking to that person in a conversational manner. Chances are you’ll speak naturally and effectively, using a storytelling voice. Sometimes this includes some reflection, especially if relating an event that occurred a long time ago.
If you want to get a good handle on reflective voice, read Vivian Gornick’s compelling memoir, Fierce Attachments. Gornick is not only recapping her story, but is sharing thoughts and reflections on her life. She is the adult looking backward.
When using a conversational tone, you’re saying, “Come gather around, everyone; here’s my story.” Many people who’ve gone through some type of trauma realize that the only way they can talk about it is through writing. In this way, the most intimate voice can be used.
In personal writing, there are different types of voices that can be utilized. In memoirs, the most common is called the composite voice, which combines both the child and adult voice. For example, you might describe a childhood memory while using an adult reflective voice that looks back on the past. This voice often encompasses reflections and musings.
When you’re trying to find your voice, it’s important to feel the experience in your body and describe it in that way. Think about each part of your body as a vehicle for words and sound. In doing so, you’ll detect patterns, sounds, and objects that you might not ordinarily notice.
Here are some ways you can practice establishing your voice:
Diana Raab, Ph.D. is a memoirist, poet, blogger, essayist, educator and facilitates workshops in writing for healing and transformation. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology with a concentration in Transpersonal Psychology, and a research focus on the healing and transformative powers of memoir writing.
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