Many moments in our personal history play important role in shaping our future. Human beings are formed by experiences they go through, or more correctly, by their own interpretation of those experiences. Unpleasant experiences often turn into traumas, in case we decide that what we experience is too heavy for us to be able to fully confront it. A traumatic experience then becomes a defense mechanism, but also a limiting element of our lives. Until recently, the birth trauma was considered to be the first and most important traumatic experience in our lifetime and many therapeutic methods were designed to enable transformation of unwanted impressions we created during our birth. Rebirthing was probably the most popular of them all, but there were also many other systems that were able to do the same. Transformation of birth trauma can produce plenty of positive effects on every aspect of our life, ranging from physical and emotional health to natural relation towards spirituality.
In their quest for original causes of human problems, some researchers went further, deep into the prenatal phase of development, and they have discovered that the fetus also goes through lots of different experiences in its contact with mother, and that those experiences influence significantly its physical and emotional health. Being in a kind of psycho-physical symbiosis with the mother, the fetus intensively feels her physical and emotional states. So, mother’s inner states, and all the events generally happening around her, will shape (sometimes dramatically) child's perception of life.
For example, if a child is not planned, conception may come as a shock for a mother. She may feel frightened, uncertain or indecisive. Sometimes she feels completely incapable of motherhood and thinks of abortion. You already know that from the moment of conception a fetus exists as conscious being that thinks, feels and lives through everything that happens around it. Living in a physical symbiosis with the mother, a child forms an emotional one as well, together with all desirable and undesirable consequences of that symbiosis. How do you think a fetus feels if parents think about abortion? How does it feel when the pregnant and therefore hypersensitive mother goes through inner conflict whether to abort the baby or not? And if parents decide to keep the baby, how does it feel when mother has fears about giving birth or experiences terrible pain during actual birth process?
While working on the causes of certain problems, prenatal experiences sometimes turn out to be the root causes of the problem. Those events are treated as any other traumatic experiences or toxic bonds, although the emotional charge they carry is usually much bigger then the one we can find in most postnatal causal patterns. In addition, limiting beliefs here are much deeper and belong to category of strong taboos. The nine months we spend in our mother’s uterus is a long period of time, filled with many different experiences, usually new and strange ones, both for mother and child. These experiences represent basic impressions a child has – about its body, about interpersonal relationships, about itself as an individual and about life as such. Many of those impressions can strongly influence the direction of a child’s future life. These influences are so strong that we usually call them “destiny”, although destiny as an outer or mystical force has absolutely nothing to do with it – we choose our life’s direction according to our own experiences and decisions we make.
Among all the prenatal blueprints – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual programs stored in our unconscious mind – probably the strongest is the one we made at the moment of conception. The first cell that was created by the union of the father’s sperm and mother’s egg carries all the impressions that we have had during that moment. The quality of emotional relationship between mother and father is extremely important here, but also the quality of their sexual relationship. All emotional states our parents go through during sexual intercourse are transferred into the great central cell, or the very first cell that was created by the union of sperm and egg cells. If the parents were burdened with some unnatural beliefs about sexuality, then the future child may carry very strong negative blueprints about its body, personality, the world, other people or spirituality. This kind of conception seems to be psychologically polluted with emotional states coming from one or both parents – usually with guilt, fear, shame, alienation or insecurity. Together with negative emotions, all written and unwritten rules that define the character of parent’s relationship are also imprinted into the “cellular memory” and form some of the basic blueprints that the child carries into future existence. These blueprints can later be manifested through every aspect of our lives – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
The reason why our conception can be negatively burdened lies in the fact that sexuality is still a taboo in modern society, although it seems it isn’t. We surely did go through some kind of “sexual revolution” in 20th century, which happened in phases and was probably the strongest and most prominent during the 60ties. But this revolution was not deep enough and didn’t free the humanity from deeply rooted guilt associated with sexuality. There are many reasons for this. The whole Western world is built on Judeo-Christian spiritual and cultural tradition which, in its attempt to beat back promiscuity and other unnatural aspects of sexual life, has a tendency to proclaim all, or almost all, sexuality as sinful. This intention was accepted by the general public and is evident in the media and mass culture. In a situation where modern media becomes obsessed with violence and bad news, naked body on television is treated as blasphemy.
Even deeper reason for repressed sexuality is mass mind control. If liberated and wisely directed, our personal energy is a way to higher states of consciousness and to enlightenment, so it needs to be repressed and controlled by our rulers. What better way for this than setting a rule and imprinting it into collective unconscious via religion, social norms and media. The repressed sexuality is then re-directed into aggressive impulses and violence, which serves our rulers well in their plans of total control and global domination. That’s why it is “totally normal” and socially acceptable to make movies in which the hero massacres his enemies, but our faces go red when we are seen naked, when we find our children watching love scenes on TV or ask “indecent questions” about their origin. And when sexuality is almost equaled with evil, reactions to that kind of perception are various. Promiscuity became a kind of a public secret – nowadays it is absolutely “normal” to have a marriage where one or both partners satisfy their sexual needs outside marriage. Pornography is “normal” thing and so is leading a double life, based on double morality that even some church functionaries cannot resist.
Christianity, for example, considers only one type of sexual behavior acceptable – no sex. Sex is allowed only if you want to have a baby, but even that kind of sexuality is seen as sinful and dirty. Instead of regular sexual intercourse, Christianity has created a myth about “Immaculate Conception” of Virgin Mary, and another myth where Jesus was conceived by the “Holy Spirit”, without any kind of physical contact. And those kinds of conceptions are impossible for common mortals; except for those two special children, everybody else was, and will be, conceived through sin.
The possibility of Immaculate Conception or the one by the Holy Spirit, without sexual intercourse, can be accepted or rejected and this is definitely a matter of personal belief. What can be terribly wrong here is the influence this idea has on people who are taught to think that all sexuality is sinful. Notion that conception with sexual intercourse is sinful, and the one without sexual intercourse is not, can leave heavy marks on sexual lives of people who accept this idea, and also on the children that were conceived through their “sinful” act. These consequences can easily be seen in therapeutic interventions where deeper causes of guilt are being treated. It seems that feelings of guilt and sin connected with sexuality have become a part of collective unconscious of western civilization and most people feel them while having sex, this way or another (consciously or unconsciously).
Biologically speaking, there is nothing unnatural about sex and reproduction. If this were not the case, humans would probably be designed without sexual organs and sexual need. So, it is not the sexuality itself that is sinful, but the perception of it. Making love simply cannot be sinful if we do not see it as a sin. But, if we do see it as sinful it will become a sin for us, and will have all the effects of acts done with a sense of guilt. The perception where sexuality is seen as sinful or dirty is the precise cause of all the negative effects sexual intercourse can possibly have. The dogma of sex as sin is a limiting belief, not the truth itself, and we have seen what dogmas produce – the opposite effects. We can even say that there is no better advertisement then taboo, because the fact is that alcohol was consumed the most during prohibition. The same thing goes with sexuality – modern society is obsessed with it because it has been repressed for so many centuries.
Like many other traditional belief systems, the idea of Immaculate Conception has some truth in it and Christianity has contributed significantly to global spirituality with the idea of sacredness of conception and birth. But the term “Immaculate Conception” belongs to the category of mystical beliefs and can therefore be interpreted in many different ways. Christian interpretation of this idea brings out a series of irrational beliefs that limit human perception and behavior in totally unrealistic ways. The sacredness of conception was reserved for only two persons and the only acceptable form of creating a baby is a conception without physical intercourse, and the one with intercourse is a necessary evil. Every other form of sexuality is not acceptable and therefore sinful.
I first came across the idea of importance of conception while working on the causes of a karmic pattern I found myself in. Going through chain of traumatic experiences which I found underlying that pattern, I was finally led by my superconscious mind to investigate my own conception. The idea seemed a bit odd at first, but then I drew a connection between my discoveries about the quality of conception and Christian doctrine of Immaculate Conception. And, since I am also a student of Chinese traditional medicine, I discovered that they speak of the “parental chi” which plays a prominent role in development of a child. The amount and quality of parental chi depends on the character and quality of the prenatal phase – forty percent on physical and emotional conditions and states our parents went through between our conception and birth, and sixty percent on the quality of conception. That’s how important the conception is to one of the oldest medical practices in the world. But the Chinese traditional medicine considers parental chi irreparable, while I believe that much can be done to compensate for the shortcomings of weak parental chi. Later on I combined the cellular reprogramming methods I developed with the relationship work and trauma resolution which were essential parts of TKP system and soon had a practical methodology for conception transformation.
So, if we look at those terms outside of the limits imposed by Christianity, what kind of conception could be seen as optimal, healthy, clean or “immaculate”, and which one would be polluted or “sinful”? Sinful conception can be the one achieved through sexual intercourse in which one or both partners feel guilty, either consciously or unconsciously. If there is any kind of physical inhibition during intercourse, the conception cannot be immaculate, even if partners love each other. Besides guilt, conception may be polluted if done through some superficial or shallow relationship. Having “casual sex” with someone you are not emotionally connected with, being high on alcohol or drugs, or doing it in a perverse way cannot make the conception “immaculate”. In our patriarchal civilization that has turned sex into taboo, inhibited sexuality often finds its outlet in unbalanced, “wild” sexuality. Most people have forgotten how to be themselves while making love – they think that sexuality is an outlet for their repressed energy, and not a sacred act. Patriarchal culture has made man and woman unequal, so their sex life sometimes looks like a battlefield where one partner tries to dominate the other. Nevertheless, if there is no equality between partners, the conception is not going to be optimal.
If we go a step further and look at humans as spiritual beings, then even love and natural physical contact are not enough and cannot contribute to a conception that can be called hundred percent “immaculate”. If partners are not spiritually conscious, then the conception usually isn’t blessed with awareness of the omnipresent Spirit. The conception without spiritual awareness puts too much importance on physical and psychological aspect of our existence, producing disharmony in our lives. Although we are physical beings and have a soul, the spirit cannot be neglected if we want to be whole. Sometimes parents may be “believers”, but if their faith is not based on Truth itself but a false interpretation of it, than this kind of “spirituality” can become one of the limiting elements in a conception.
The consequences of “sinful” conception can differ in form, but their common denominator is always guilt. A child takes over the sense of guilt and loses innocence; it disassociates an integral part of itself that feels completely guiltless. In that way a child loses true freedom and spontaneity and with it some aspects of personal power and charisma. This kind of identity loss fetters human creativity, so the child will latter on have problems to express itself creatively. By its original nature, sexual energy is creative energy and sexual act is a creative act. Natural and emancipated sexuality is directly connected with emancipated creativity and it is precisely the creative realization that plays the most important role in our fulfillment. Sometimes, though, our creativity is cut at the roots with “sinful” conception. Although the only way to be fully free is to realize one’s own creative potential, with “sinful” conception we lose our true freedom, and it is unnecessary to say who benefits from that.
Instead of underestimating the moment of conception or mystifying it out of proportion, it is a fact that the way a child is conceived is extremely important. The amount and quality of energy, love, openness, understanding, acceptance or spirituality that accompanies the moment of conception will be seen in a future child. If the sexual intercourse is freed from the idea of sinfulness and done in a positive and integral way, without physical inhibitions, filled with love and blessed with spiritual awareness, then the conception can be perceived as “immaculate”. Being conceived in that way, a child is able to keep contact with many important aspects and potentials of its Soul, the ones that are usually considered charismatic or belong to a category of special creative talents. At the same time, this child doesn’t lose its innocence and has a privilege of staying connected with the Spirit. Guilt is the prime reason why humans lose connection with something that truly belongs to them – with spirit or God. A sense of guilt, collective or individual, is the cause of our disconnectedness from the absolute. We can deal relatively easily with individual aspects of guilt, but the collective one is much stronger then most people expect.
It seems that it is possible to make the conception immaculate, even for us “common people”. We simply have to be aware of the sacredness of conception and make an effort to conceive a child through a conscious, loving and devoted sexual act. And, according to my therapeutic practice, it is also possible to transform the undesirable aspects of our conception into desirable – to turn the “sinful” conception into “immaculate”. Since transformation of conception belongs to the category of advanced changework, beginners can achieve it after sorting out their family map and achieving some of the basic life goals. During conception reprogramming we do the following procedures.
First we need to regress ourselves into the moment of our conception and explore what it was like, under which circumstances it was done and what was the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual quality of our parents’ relationship. The quality of sexual intercourse is not the only important thing here, but the overall quality of their relationship as partners. Then we need to determine how the character of their relationship influenced us, how we felt and what basic programs were imprinted into our great central cell. If there are limiting and negative ones, we simply dissolve them using discreation formula and reprogram them into desirable and positive ones using creation methods described in chapter nine. Sometimes we also have to work on relationships between us and our parents and dissolve toxic bonds and/or identifications. Then we continue with retrieving the lost identity, and in this case the part we lost is usually huge and extremely important. I hope you realize what it means to integrate a part which has been missing since the very moment of our conception. Usually it contains the immense amount of power, motivation and personal charisma. By integrating it we regain contact with inner source of power which was up to then unthinkable, giving us new creative possibilities and new strength.
After we integrate the lost aspect of our soul we may continue with the initiation into Immaculate Conception. We now recreate our conception in the best possible way, transforming our actual parents with a series of blessings into two enlightened beings (“bodhisattvas”) in perfect love relationship. We then imagine being conceived by them. When conception is achieved by two enlightened parents who are in totally equal and whole relationship, then they are able to transfer to a conceived fetus their best psycho-energy traits. Then we imprint these characteristics into the great central cell and instruct this cell to distribute those imprints into all other cells of our body. Since the great central cell is a kind of command center, all programs stored in it are automatically reflected on all other cells, and therefore onto our DNA and genetic information. As geneticist Bruce Lipton already affirmed in his book The Biology of Belief, human genetics is primarily influenced by emotional and mental states. Some of them were imprinted into our parents’ genes and we automatically inherit them. Others become programmed during our existence, from the conception on, where the moment of creation of the very first cell plays the critical role. Besides those created during conception, we can also transform all other inherited genetic programs, either directly or during transformation of some other psycho-energy family patterns such as toxic bonds or identifications.
The consequences of reprogrammed conception may be various, but are usually expressed thorough liberated creative impulse, more harmonious relationships, more active and better sex life, higher life energy, stronger physical immunity and improved health. As with any other kind of personal transformation the gains are specific for each individual and this is especially accentuated here because such initiation strongly connects a person with her life mission, and each person’s mission is their individual thing. Therefore the sanctity of conception can be achieved afterwards and my current practice has shown that this initiation can be one of the deepest and most profound personal and spiritual experiences a human being can have.
 Bruce Lipton: The Biology of Belief – Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter and Miracles, Hay House Inc., 2005.
©Tomislav Budak, May 2004