“Intellect is the only thing that matters.”
“Emotions just get in the way when you need to get things done, specially when you want to be successful.”
“It’s better not to let people in and see…”
That however, did not stop me from having a hot temper, lose it quickly and honestly quite often. “But why?” I used to think. “I am right”. I knew I was, what I said, what I did, but somehow people failed to understand… and it looked like I was wrong which angered me even more. And just the mention of “anger management” or “anger issues” made me laugh or even furious, depending on the current mood at the time.
Except that I was wrong all along:
- Emotions can be positive or negative. We can’t stop ourselves from feeling, it is against nature, our anatomy will find a way to let off the steam and it’s no wonder that the outcome is physical or psychological exhaustion, endangering performance specially when the stakes are too high.
- We can’t choose to feel bad or good. I know it sounds like stating the obvious, but sometimes we cut the connection to our inner selves. We welcome and embrace, the feeling good, at ease, satisfied, fulfilled, positive… but when it comes to sadness, sorrow, hurt, pain, we retreat in denial. We fake everything is ok, and sometimes we fake so much and for so long that we end up believing it ourselves. That doesn’t mean that what we want to go away, will go away. In our unconscious it keeps building up.
- There is no intellect if there is no emotional acknowledgment. We can’t possibly make wise decisions in the long run, if we refuse to recognize what’s going on inside of us.
- Emotions are powerful, we choose whether they will make us powerful or be their victim and pay the consequences.
- Learning to handle our emotions means, facing genuinely what we feel and describe the feeling as more accurately as possible. Use as many adjectives as possible, to comprehend the situation. Ask the painful but right question: Why do you feel the way you feel?
- Keep asking the question “Why?” that’s the key. This way, we will get to the core of our issues, where the problem resides.
- Found the problem? Problem solving is a very praised skill, that’s what people very often talk about, right? If we manage to get this far, then our Emotional Intelligence is playing its part.
- Practicing will not only help us with our own issues, it will make us understand others much better and ascend to the source of certain behaviors and actions.
How do you feel now? What are you thinking?
I would love to read your comments below 🙂