Although only two years old and previously unrecognized by the scientific establishment, Global Draining (GD) has now become a widely accepted theory. GD states that sea level is falling not rising (Southern Fried Science, 2010a).
Current rates of GD indicate the entire world’s ocean will be empty by 2026 (Southern Fried Science, 2010a). Local-scale observation of in situ draining combined with a robust theoretical model firmly place the rate of draining at 40 Gigatons of water per year (Dr. M, 2010). It has been argued that both one and multiple holes occur in the ocean floor that allow for GD (i.e. the monoclavis versus polyclavis hypotheses via McCay, 2010).
However, the impacts and causes of GD are not clearly understood. Despite this, GD is a fundamental tenet of nearly every facet of science and likely correlated with many aspects of biology, economics, sociology, religion, and politics. For example, GD is likely to lead to massive die offs of sharks and reduce global atmospheric oxygen levels (Shark Diver, 2010).
The GD phenomenon appears to be most severe in the western North Atlantic Ocean with an epicenter somewhere near coastal North Carolina, U.S.A. Recently it was proposed that the density of homosexuals (i.e. homer-sexuewlls) is directly correlated with sea level height (NC State Legislature 2012). The hypothesis suggests that increased homosexuals in a locality incur a deity’s wrath, most probably by flooding (Leviticus 18&20 and Genesis 6-9). Recent legislation in North Carolina banning same-sex marriages (NC State, 2012), driving many homosexuals from the state, leads to an excellent opportunity to test this idea.
One thousand by ten meter transects were conducted at 531 randomly selected localities throughout North Carolina. Along transects, each person encountered was asked the question “Are you gay?” and answers were noted. If answerees responded “No”, the follow up question was asked “Are you sure?” to confirm. This yielded densities of homosexuals per meter. Transects were collected annually from 2005-2012.
Post conducting transects, sea level in meters off North Carolina was measured with a ruler and by eye.