If you talk to men and women about stress, you get the idea that women are more stressed than men. However, heart attacks on Monday morning due to stress have been talked about in the literature for a long time and guys are more likely the victims. Surveys report women suffering more anxiety and depression due to stress. Do guys who are stressed not talk about it and just end up in ICUs all over the country? Are women not as stressed as guys, but just talking about feeling stressed more than guys? These questions are difficult to answer, but one thing is for sure. Stress is killing us, and managing it should be a part of everyone’s daily routine. Work stress accounts for more than half of all absences from work. Stress is one of the primary reasons for heart attacks, hypertension, heart palpitations, obesity, headaches, back pain, and stomach problems. Stress is in the literature more than ever as our electronic abilities expand, and our pace of life becomes more and more immediate and timed. Humans need a break, and that break must include shutting off all their stuff.
Stress was once an advantageous warning to humans because when they were stressed they could flee a situation or fight. The problem is stress is happening constantly and no one can flee or fight enough to manage the stress. This left over hormone in our body is creating all sorts of problems. Women usually suffer less in this department because when women are stressed their hormonal make-up causes them to bond and reach out to others for support. Guys weren’t as fortunate with this hormone. When guys are stressed they fight harder to conquer the stressors. This may actually isolate them more leading them to act out their stress with less healthy behaviors such as fighting, drinking or lashing out with angry words.
Stress continually challenges who we are as men and women. Men are judged and build their self-esteem around feeling adequate, performing well, and being strong, where women build their self-esteem around relationships. During stressful times women may become self-sacrificing, no longer caring for themselves in an effort to care for others. When men are stressed they worry about losing the challenge or the competition. They lose themselves due to meeting the employer or rival’s agenda. They become so preoccupied with the agenda and winning that they no longer have time for self-care. One of a woman’s greatest stressors is the loss of a relationship, and for guys it is failure in performance.
Keys to managing stress depend on what sex you are. Below are a few suggestions for men and women. If you are dealing with chronic stress and its symptoms, your first step should be a visit to your physician.
Managing stress for guys:
- Think of escaping in a healthy way such as shooting hoops, a good round of golf, a tennis match, running, fishing, or taking the boat out.
- Massage is good for both genders. However, many men resist massage. Research supports that massage helps men relax and feel less stress.
- Escape into a movie or good music.
- Schedule in your transition time home after work, so you have at least 30 minutes just to make the transition time to shut off your day and become “dad.”
Managing stress for women:
- Yoga is good for both genders. However, studies have been done on women who engage in yoga reporting lower levels of stress overall.
- Women find relief in sharing with friends when they have stress. Remember, women’s biggest stressors is loss of relationships.
- Walking helps both men and women, but women report using walking as a method more for managing stress.
- Women who find a hobby and use the hobby as a way of managing stress are more likely to not suffer from stress effects.
- Stagger your transition time home from work with your partner, so you have at least 30 minutes to shut off your day at work and become “mom.”
None of us are going to be able to escape stress. Our children are suffering the effects of stress younger and younger. Unmanaged parental stress becomes children’s stress. Learning to manage your stress so it doesn’t rob you from enjoying your family is one of the best things you can do for your health as well as for your family. Begin small so you aren’t overwhelmed, causing more stress. Little changes make huge impacts on lowering stress and increasing joy. –Mary Jo Rapini
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