Parenting has been called the most critical job anyone ever undertakes. Yet, for most of us, we have no instruction and few ways to tell if we are competent. Many of the personality scars that lead to anti-social behavior, violence, dishonesty, bullying, prejudice, and poor adaptability can be traced (at least in part) to inadequate parental supervision or support.
So how do we change this picture? In The Doorkeeper’s Secrets, the responsibility of child-raising is identified as a job. Like any other job, people are educated, qualified, supported, and evaluated regularly.
Before becoming a parent, individuals are evaluated for stability, problem-solving, and compassionate values. With the assistance of counselors, individuals or couples identify personality quirks and strengths that will impact their relationship to a child.
Once a child is conceived, there are classes to prepare for childbirth and infancy. Parents are expected to attend regular parenting groups–to address problems before they get out of hand. They are also expected to see a counselor several times a year–to address how he or she is adapting to having this other person in their lives.
As the youngest child reaches school age, the caregiver may return full or part-time to other work. This work may be in or out of the home–depending on abilities and desires. All the counsel and assistance are designed to keep both parents and children developing in healthy, compassionate, respectful, and respected manner.
A parent’s anger should injure no child. No one should experience the anguish of injuring his or her child. Tools of anger management and impulse control should be taught to everyone dealing with children.
Children should grow up surrounded by love, encouragement, and consistency. Parents should be supported by others as they shape the future.
Of course, that is the ideal. The role of a mother or father must change according to the needs. This is where the regular peer groups become essential. Adjustments need to be made for physical, emotional, or intellectual challenges.
So, this Father’s Day, may those of us who are fathers raise our voices in for a better way for the next generation. Raising a child is a job–but it should not be a miserable job. Children also have work to do–growing, learning, and developing core values that will serve them throughout life. As world citizen and member of the human race–we are called to protect, support, and encourage parents. We also must encourage children as they grow toward a life filled with joy, equality, truthfulness, compassion, and love.
Maybe this Father’s Day will be the one that matters. If you like this version of child raising–share this with your friends. Know of a different model working toward the same goals–share it.
It’s time to start planning a better tomorrow. It begins with our voices.