Series M, Episode 2 - Military Matters
- Despite what Jeremy said back in Series B, the 1941 Anglo-Finnish War was not the only time two democracies have declared war on each other; a viewer named Otto Lowe wrote in to correct Jeremy. Examples of other wars between democracies include the Fourth Anglo-Dutch War of 1780-84 and the Football War of 1969 between El Salvador and Honduras (although it only lasted 10 hours). It is also not true that no shots were fired during the 1941 Anglo-Finnish War. 13 people were killed during the war when the British attacked Petsamo port on 30th July 1941. (Forfeit: The only war between two democracies)
- In all seriousness, given that more than 100 million people were killed in wars during the 20th century, that the total number of people ever killed in wars could be as many as one billion, that Albert Einstein described war as: "a cloak that covers acts of murder", and by Antoine de Saint-Exupery as: "a disease, like typhus", it should be noted that to this day, no-one knows why Adolf Hitler had such a silly moustache. Hitler originally had a wide, bushy, curled moustache when he was a corporal during World War I, and one disputed theory was that he trimmed his moustache so his gas mask would fit. This story was told by someone who served with Hitler named Alexander Mortiz Frey, but this theory is not universally believed and Frey later went on to become a satirist and fantasy novelist. Other historians believe that Hitler didn't have the toothbrush until 1919. Hitler's sister-in-law, Bridget Hitler, who was from Liverpool and married to Hitler's half-brother Alois Jr, said that Adolf came to visit Liverpool and that she told Adolf to trim the ends of his moustache to make it less bushy. She later wrote: "As in most things, he went too far."
- The name and rank of the man who was overthrown during the mutiny on the Bounty and cast adrift in an open boat was Lieutenant Commander William Bligh. He was not a captain at the time of the mutiny. Bligh was only given a sextant and a pocket watch, but he managed to survive, landing in Timor. This was also not the only time Bligh upset people. He was made governor of New South Wales some years later, and there was another mutiny. (Forfeit: Fletcher Christian, Captain Bligh, Marlon Brando)
- XL: The Mutiny of the Monkeys took place in 1890 on a British vessel called the Margaret. It was delivering animals from Durban to a zoo in Boston, including 400 cockatoos, 12 snakes, two crocodiles, some monkeys, some parrots, a gorilla and an orangutan. However, things started to go wrong almost immediately. First, the rats ate the grain meant for the cockatoos and thus all the cockatoos died. Then a storm hit the ship, allowing the crocodiles and snakes to escape. Because of this the crew hid in their cabin, while the crocodiles and the snakes fought each other to death until only one crocodile remained: it was then killed by falling cargo. After that the monkeys escaped and climbed the ship's rigging, before being swept out to sea and drowning in another storm. By the time the Margaret landed in Boston, the only animals alive were a gorilla, three monkeys and four parrots.
- XL: A better way of getting yourself out of the army than shooting yourself in the foot was to go to a prostitute while on leave and catch a sexually transmitted disease from them. Shooting oneself in the foot - a "Blighty wound", as it was known - was considered desertion and was punishable by shooting. At the front you were five times more likely to catch an STD than you were to have trench foot. Most soldiers tried to catch an STD, but the illness at the time could be treated. You could however still get a few months off. Paris had 75,000 prostitutes, less than 10% of which were licensed. One contemporary report said that 171,000 British troops visited brothels in a single street in Le Havre in one year. During the German occupation it was an offence for a prostitute to give a German soldier venereal disease, and the offending women could be imprisoned to keep other men safe, but as soon as the Germans started retreating they freed all the prostitutes in the hope that the Allies would catch their STDs. Robert Graves, author of Goodbye to All That, wrote: "These boys had money to spend and knew that they stood a good chance of being killed within a few weeks anyhow. They did not want to die virgins." (Forfeit: Stick a couple of pencils up your nose)
- Out of a roller coaster, a merry-go-round, a Ferris wheel and a bumper car, the only one used for a military purpose was a merry-go-round. The soldier would sit on the horse, a servant would hold out a large ring, and the soldier would try and get their lance through the ring to practice their accuracy. This was known as a "carosello".
- The reason maps are so difficult to fold is because there are so many different ways to fold them. Most maps have nine folds one way and two the other way, which means there are 2,048 different ways of folding them, and it is easy to get the wrong order. However, an aeronautical designer named Koryo Miura has designed a way of folding a map where you just hold the opposite corners and it pulls and pushes easily in just one direction. He designed it for solar panels. Jeremy is astonished to find that even he can fold it back with ease.
Magic Trick: Stephen gets out a box of tissues, gives one to each panellist and one to himself. He then tells them to scrunch the tissue into a ball, then bounce it up and down a few times and it should fold out into a shape. Stephen is able to make his tissue into an origami swan, but no-one else succeeds.
- XL: The most morale-boosting thing you can find in a meat pie is people. Philip the Good, Duke of Burgundy, held a feast for his knights in 1454 that was actually a recruiting stunt to promote a crusade that he wanted to take part in after the Turks had taken control of Constantinople. "The Feast of the Pheasant" included a meat pie which contained 28 musicians who played throughout the meal; a Manneken Pis that urinated rose water; a castle that squirted orange squash into its moat; and a lion chained to a pillar that protected a statue of a nude woman which served mulled wine from her breast. After this pie, a giant enterted with an elephant on a leash. The elephant had a castle on its back, inside of which was a dishevelled nun with her hands held out in prayer, who then implored Philip to go on crusade. The meal motivated the crowd so much they all agreed to take part, but Charles VII of France thought the crusade was a terrible idea and put an end to the plans.
- The worst thing you can find in a Morrison sandwich is a human being. Herbert Morrison, who was a Minister of Supply during 1940, devised an indoor shelter for the poor called the Morrison Shelter. It consisted of a metal-framed bunk-bed, with wire-mesh covering and a metal roof. However, sometimes the upper bunk would collapse and crushed the person below, in what was nicknamed a "Morrison Sandwich". Morrison Shelters were considered safer and more popular with the public than outdoor Anderson Shelters, dug into the ground.
- XL: All-female military battles differ from all-male ones because it is bees that do the fighting. These are battles between hives of Australian stingless bees. The queens however do not fight. The main attack method is to bite the legs and wings. The victors install their queen as ruler of the conquered hive, and the losers are evicted and left to die.
- The panel is shown a photo of a man with a rifle so large that it has to rest on the shoulder of another man to keep it steady, and are asked what thing beginning with "M" you would shoot at with it. The answer is mallards. It is a punt gun, which would rest on a punt boat. Jeremy once used a punt gun to shoot a clay pigeon, and the recoil was so great that he proved, "that a man can actually fly". One shot form a punt gun could bring down 50 mallards in one go. It was used in the USA in the 19th century, but eventually they were banned in 1860 to avoid depletion of the wildlife.
- The name of the fleet of ships that was defeated in the Anglo-Spanish War of 1589 was the English Armada. This occurred the year after the more famous Spanish Armada, which was not that great a military victory. It was more poor weather that defeated the Spanish rather than Sir Francis Drake. In 1589, Drake decided that the English should send a fleet to completely defeat Spain, but instead England lost 40 ships and the entire adventure was a disaster. (Forfeit: Spanish Armada)
- 100 points are on offer to the person who correctly guesses where the first or last shots were fired during World War I. No-one guesses correctly because the answers are Togoland and Tanganyika respectively. Togoland, now Togo, was a German colony, and on 7th August 1914, three days after war was declared on 4th August, Britain attacked Togoland. Regimental Sergeant Major Alhaji Grunshi was the first to shoot back when the German-led police force shot the approaching British forces. The last battle of WWI was on a golf course in Northern Rhodesia, now called Zambia. They eventually stopped fighting, but the Germans fought for ages afterwards in Tanganyika, now Tanzania, not surrendering until 25th November, 1918. (Forfeit: France)
- The last of the Mohicans are still alive and well, and now run casinos. There are two tribes that have been known as Mohicans. These include the Mohegans from Connecticut who run the Casino of the Sky (which Alan has visited); and the Mahicans from Wisconsin who run a casino at the North Star Mohican Resort, known as the "Midwest's Friendliest Casino".
- Friday 23rd October 2015
- BBC Two
- 30 minutes
Cast & crew
|Stephen Fry||Host / Presenter|
|Alan Davies||Regular Panellist|
|Scott Penrose||Master Magician|
|James Harkin||Script Editor|
|John Mitchinson||Question Writer|
|James Harkin||Question Writer|
|Molly Oldfield||Question Writer|
|Andrew Hunter Murray||Question Writer|
|Anne Miller||Question Writer|
|Stevyn Colgan||Question Writer|
|Anna Ptaszynski||Question Writer|
|John Lloyd (as John Lloyd CBE)||Series Producer|
|Sohail Shah||Executive Producer|
|Justin Pollard||Associate Producer|
|Jonathan Paul Green||Production Designer|