By: Samantha Lewandowski, MS RD
Motherhood involves a great deal of letting go. Such lessons can be learned in all seasons of mothering, and many are on-going, such as letting go of ideals and expectations – a consistently clean and orderly home, instantly returning to a desired body shape following pregnancy, arriving anywhere on time – as well as our mistakes. Feeding our children is much the same in that meeting our goals may require letting go of expectations and past mistakes.
Successfully feeding our children requires focusing on the how as well as the what, but the latter receives the most attention. Most of us have a general idea of what to feed our kids, but lose out on the opportunity to foster longer term success with eating by investigating how we are feeding them. The less we interfere with our children’s eating, the more likely they are to rely on their physical cues, try new foods, and learn about having a healthy relationship with food. But to do so means to let go…at least to some degree. It’s tough work, but the payoff is worthwhile.
Ways we can learn to let go:
- Define successful feeding in your house – what are your goals as a parent? What values related to food do you want to teach your children? What role does food and mealtime play in your home?
- Be aware of your own expectations. Do you expect your child to eat everything on the plate, or at least taste each item? Do you expect your child to like a new food the first time it is presented? Consider coming to the table with a more open mind, and you’ll be surprised at the results.
- Drop the ‘should’ and ‘must.’ But my child should like broccoli! My child must drink milk! Our language influences our expectations, which can then transfer to increased pressure at meal time.
- Avoid comparisons with other children. This can be difficult, especially when we’re searching for support and feedback, but too much comparing may lead to more ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts.’
- Trust – yourself and your child. Remind yourself that you are uniquely created to parent your child, and you are capable of feeding them successfully. Trust your child to know how much they will eat at a given meal – or whether they will eat at all.
- Relax. The ultimate reminder in learning to let go – take a deep breath and enjoy your meal time experiences together as a family.
But what about those who aren’t feeding children? Some of us struggle to make healthy meals for ourselves or our spouses on a daily basis, yet fall into the same traps, e.g. comparing our eating habits to those of others, thinking we “should” eat certain foods (even if we don’t like them) and even getting caught into a cycle of dieting instead of changing our lifestyle to incorporate more healthy foods.
Eating right is a lifelong journey, and it can be more of a struggle for some than others. Learning to let go and enjoy meal times with your family is the first step in teaching your child – and perhaps yourself – better eating habits.
Don’t stop here! Join the carnival and read other Eat, Play, Love blogs from dietitians and moms offering the best advice on raising healthy eaters. And if you don’t get enough today, for more positive, realistic and actionable advice from registered dietitian moms, register for the free, live webinar Eat, Play, Love: Raising Healthy Eaters on Wednesday, May 18.
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My Recipe for Raising Healthy Eaters: Eat Like the French, Bridget Swinney MS, RD, LD
Playing with Dough and the Edible Gift of Thyme, Robin Plotkin, RD, LD
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Raising a Healthy Eater, Danielle Omar, MS, RD
Putting the Ease in Healthy Family Eating, Connie Evers, MS, RD, LD
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What My Kids Taught Me About Eating Mindfully, Michelle May, MD