Demanding children – children who have entitlement issues – seem to be common these days. Like the obnoxious child, Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, who was constantly demanding that her father get her whatever she wanted (“I want an Umpa Lumpa! Get it for me NOW!”), we hear many children today uttering the fairly constant refrain, “I want …! Give it to me! Get it for me, now!” They seem to be masters at instilling guilt in their parents through phrases such as: “It’s not fair!” or “You don’t love me!” or “What about what I want?” – perhaps even by getting angry, shutting down or crying piteously.
Why are there so many demanding children?
Olivia grew up with a self-centered, demanding, critical mother who never let her have her feelings. Olivia learned early to take responsibility for her mother’s feelings by being a good girl. Now, as a parent herself, and not wanting to do to her children what her mother did to her, she has gone the opposite way. Rather than being demanding and self-centered, she is compliant and self-sacrificing. Rather than being an authoritarian parent like her mother was, she is a permissive parent, giving in to her children’s demands rather than setting appropriate limits.