A man fell in a pit and couldn’t get out.
A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: “I FEEL for you down there!”
An OBJECTIVE person came along and said: “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.”
A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came by and said: “You only think you are in the pit.”
A PHARISEE said: “Only bad people would fall in a pit.”
A MATHEMATICIAN calculated HOW he fell in the pit.
A NEWS REPORTER wanted the exclusive story on his pit.
A FUNDAMENTALIST said: “You deserve your pit.”
CONFUCIOUS said: “If you would have listened to me, you would not have fallen into that pit.”
BUDDHA said: “Your pit is only a state of mind.”
A REALIST said: “That’s a pit.”
A SCIENTIST calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.
A GEOLOGIST told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.
AN EVOLUTIONIST said: “You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle.” In other words, “He is going to die in the pit, so he can’t produce any pit-falling offspring.”
The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked if he had a permit to dig the pit.
A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on the elementary principles of the pit.
An EVASIVE person came along and avoided the subject of pits all together.
A SELF-PITYING person came along and said: “You haven’t seen anything till you’ve seen my pit.”
A CHARISMATIC said: “Just confess that you are not in the pit!”
An OPTIMIST said: “Things could be worse.”
A PESSIMIST said: “Things are going to get worse.”
JESUS, seeing the man took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.