“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;”
Sharkey, a sleepy, unincorporated community of about 400 households in Rowan county Kentucky, lies between Louisville and Lexington amidst the undulating hills of central Kentucky. It boasts a single church, a lone store, and a unique history. This peaceful setting, however, belies its name which came from a cock fight.
According to local lore, residents of the fledgling town needed a name in order to establish a post office. But they couldn’t agree on one until fate intervened. Amidst the ruckus of a near-by cock fight decision makers agreed to name the town after the winner of the fight. The competing roosters were Sharkey and Shanghai. Sharkey prevailed, and so did his name, becoming part of the town’s present-day identity.
Adopted children frequently come into our families with a “naming” history; a name given to them by those who loved them first. And it’s our responsibility to respect the history (even when it’s hurtful and requires forgiveness), the decision makers and the name. Even if we choose to change it, a child’s original name is a significant part of their story and personal identity. We are the keepers of their story until they are able to understand and manage it.
What’s in a name? Yes, it’s part of our identity. But for adopted kids it’s a piece of their story and a connection between two worlds. It may be emotionally laden or charged with values. And it’s an opportunity for savvy adoptive parents to communicate and connect with their kids. Use it well.
Thank you, Father that you know our names and have engraved them on the palm of your hand. Help us respect the sacredness of our child’s naming history and respect those who loved him/her first.