No parent really wants to have to think about how to help his or her child be safe from sexual abuse. However, as long as the incident rate is 1 in every 4 girls and 1 in every 6 boys in the United States will experience some form of sexual abuse before their 18th birthday remains accurate…well, it must be done.
There are good books available, many at the Pioneer Library, that can help parents introduce this subject in a non-threatening manner. But there are also ways to educate and reinforce a child’s understanding of some basic concepts that will help them to stay safer.
Bethesda is a sexual abuse treatment program in Norman that provides sexual abuse counseling for children that have been abused, but it also has a prevention program called “Stop, Go, Tell” which is all about personal boundaries, nothing about sex education, and never even mentions the words “sexual abuse”. In the program, children ages 4-12 learn some important facts that help them navigate sometimes confusing situations.
In the program they first have the children identify private parts. They are told that their body belongs to them. Then, they introduce the 5 boundary rules which are: 1) No one should look at your private parts; 2) No one should ask you to look at their private parts; 3) No one should touch your private parts; 4) No one should ask you to touch their private parts; 5) No one should show you pictures of private parts on TV, from magazines, on the computer, or on a cell phone.
Once the kids learn the rules, then they discuss personal space by using a hula-hoop to demonstrate what personal space means. After that, they reinforce that if someone else breaks a boundary rule then it is not their fault. Then each child is asked to identify a safe person and instructed to “Go Tell” this person if anyone breaks a boundary rule.
As you can see, these basic concepts are ones an adult could use at home to help educate their child. If you are interested in more information about the “Stop, Go, Tell” program you can contact the coordinator, Mark Pritchard at Bethesda at 405-364-0333. You can also get more information at their website bethesdaok.org
and on Facebook at Bethesda Inc.
I know all of us wish we lived in a world where this was unnecessary. However, because sexual abuse is usually perpetrated by someone the child knows and trusts in 90% of the cases, one of the best lines of defense is making sure that a child is clear about the boundary rules and equipped to tell a safe adult if it happens. Most sexual abuse begins with minor boundary violations then progresses to more invasive acts. So, if our kids can tell us when this first happen, much can be prevented.
- Candace McCaffrey, Ph.D.