Keep reading for FREE
It's very hard to deal with emotions that are painful, extreme, and sometimes even scary. however accepting your emotions can actually help improve your emotion regulation and lead to fewer mood swings and more emotional balance. Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), and other psychiatric disorders that involve intense emotional experiences have trouble accepting emotions.
Often we have an uncomforable feeling, such as sadness, fear or shame, our first reaction is to reject that feeling.
We may tell ourselves that feeling is a bad feeling that we do not want to have. Then we may do something to try to get rid of the feeling, such as trying to push it away or using drugs or alcohol to feel better.
When we reject our emotions we may actually make things worse for ourselves. often emotions give us helpful information, so geting rid of it is not the best idea.
An alternative to pushing away or stifling your emotions is learning to accept your emotional experiences. Accepting means that you practice allowing your emotions to be what they are without judging them or trying to change them.
Acceptance means letting go of attempts to control your emotions and learning that emotions themselves cannot harm you.
It is important to make the distinction between acceptance annd resignation. Accepting emotions does not mean that you resign yourself to always feeling terrible or wallowing in pain. It also doesn't mean that you hold on to painful emotions or try to push yourself to experience emotional pain. Acceptance simply means being aware of your emotions and accepting them for what they are right now, knowing that they won't last.
In some ways, accepting emotions means also accepting that emotions will change. When we are happy, we have to accept that happiness is a short-term condition; we will not always be happy. This goes for every type of emotion, from fear to anxiety to sadness. Feelings are fleeting and usually go away within seconds, minutes, or hours.
What is the point of trying to accept your emotions, and wouldn’t it be easier to simply get rid of them?
Well, no, it isn’t easy to get rid of emotions. In fact, most people with BPD have tried to get rid of their emotions with little success. What they have learned, and what research supports, is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to simply get rid of an emotion.
We have emotions for a reason, so you shouldn't want to get rid of them completely.
Emotions are part of a complex system that help us decide what we should stay away from and what we should approach. Emotions also help us keep lasting relationships with other people. Without emotions, we would make terrible decisions all the time. Therefore, accepting emotions is helpful, because when we listen to our emotions, we can actually learn important information.
There are a few reasons why people with BPDm in particular, have trouble accepting emotions, although it is imporant to note that everyone has trouble accepting emotions sometimes.
First, people with BPD are often raised in emotionally invalidating environments. These are environments where feelings are not accepted. Sometimes people with BPD were punished for expressing feelings, or sometimes they were told that they were weak for having feelings. This can lead a person with BPD to have trouble accepting their own emotions in adult life.
Second, people with BPD experience very intense emotions and this intensity makes it harder to accept those emotions. People with BPD will often describe feeling that they are afraid their emotions will “overwhelm” or “destroy” them. As a result, many people with BPD feel very afraid of their emotions and are convinced they cannot tolerate their feelings.
I'm passionate about helping people live their best lives. I'm a lifestyle coach and fitness trainer, and I also write and take photographs. Check out the link below for more and follow me on twitter!
MORE LIKE THIS
Ready for the next level?
Read Like a Pro
Explore the World’s
Take Your Ideas
Just press play and we take care of the words.
No Internet access? No problem. Within the mobile app, all your ideas are available, even when offline.
2 Million Stashers
Don’t look further if you love learning new things. A refreshing concept that provides quick ideas for busy thought leaders.
Best app ever! You heard it right. This app has helped me get back on my quest to get things done while equipping myself with knowledge everyday.
This app is LOADED with RELEVANT, HELPFUL, AND EDUCATIONAL material. It is creatively intellectual, yet minimal enough to not overstimulate and create a learning block. I am exceptionally impressed with this app!
Great interesting short snippets of informative articles. Highly recommended to anyone who loves information and lacks patience.
I have only been using it for a few days now, but I have found answers to questions I had never consciously formulated, or to problems I face everyday at work or at home. I wish I had found this earlier, highly recommended!
Brilliant. It feels fresh and encouraging. So many interesting pieces of information that are just enough to absorb and apply. So happy I found this.
Great for quick bits of information and interesting ideas around whatever topics you are interested in. Visually, it looks great as well.
Even five minutes a day will improve your thinking. I've come across new ideas and learnt to improve existing ways to become more motivated, confident and happier.
Read & Learn
Access to 200,000+ ideas
Access to the mobile app
Unlimited idea saving & library
Unlimited listening to ideas
Downloading & offline access
Claim Your Limited Offer
Get Deepstash Pro
75% OFF | 1-Year Pro Subscription