I always think feedback looks like a double-edged sword, on one side, effective feedback can result in both personal and technical growth, increase performance, and eventually increase self-confidence. On the other side, It can exactly be the opposite, it brings frustration, lower motivation and paralyzes self-confidence which results in self-doubt. Therefore, it is crucial to pay attention to the construction of feedback, especially at work.
Although as we giving the feedback we have good intentions and want improvements in the other party, you can totally demolish the other person's motivation and dreams. Let's review some tips on constructing the best possible feedback ever.
According to a Harvard Business Review Research on feedback, negative feedback can actually hinder learning. People often know their shortcomings and to be fair, every person has weaknesses and strengths. Try to focus on personal strengths and build on feedback to extend those strengths into something effective.
Effective feedback needs to be delivered with respect and care. Frequent or exclusively negative comments can spark defensive reactions that cloud perceptions and dampen motivation.
Telling someone how to fix a problem is often the wrong approach. You'll foster more learning by asking questions that stimulate reflection and coaching people into exploration and experimentation.
In your feedback sessions, try to be a listener mostly, don't be judgemental and don't be in charge. According to HBR research, listening seems to make the other people more relaxed, more self-aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses, and more willing to reflect in a non-defensive manner. This can make people more likely to cooperate (versus compete) with other colleagues, as they become more interested in sharing their attitudes, but not necessarily in trying to persuade others to adopt them, and more open to considering other points of view.
Going back to giving feedback, of course, this research does not claim that listening must replace feedback. Rather, it seems that listening to other people talk about their own experiences first can make giving feedback more productive by helping them feel psychologically safe and less defensive.
Provide individualized feedback, because no single approach is going to work well for everybody. Some people prefer to get feedback right away; others might want to wait until later. Some people respond better to feedback in the form of social comparison - your performance is better or worse than your neighbors'. Some people are more motivated by the feedback that compares them only against themselves - you did better or worse than you did last week. It is important to understand who you are giving feedback before giving feedback.
Don't just feedback on a single event, how someone's communicated in one meeting or responded to one email. What is more helpful is feedback on patterns of behavior that leverage specific events as examples. Looking at patterns helps alleviate recency bias where we tend to recall and over-weight events in our near-term memory.
People can only focus on and work on a few concepts at a time to be more concise, the sweet spot is 3 to 4 items. If you have 10 different feedbacks to give to your colleague or employee, try to prioritize the first three and be gradual on delivering those.
Creating feedback that is truly useful requires more care and attention than is typically invested. Like any skill - chess, golf, learning a new language - offering strategic developmental feedback requires that we pay attention to and do many things effectively and simultaneously. Given the opportunity to help others develop and become more effective, it's worth the effort.
Hope this was useful, please share your tips in comments and don't forget to 👏 if you like the content.