We all know that children need to be encouraged through
recognition and praise. We want to build
them up and help develop self-esteem, so we take advantage of every opportunity
to say things like, "good job!", "I like
the way you...." "I knew you could do
Although these are positive statements are intended to
compliment the child's accomplishment, it also sends a message that focuses on
our (the parent/ teacher) approval. "Good Job!", "I like the way you.....", and
"I knew you could do it!", are all
statements where the person making the statement, is the main subject. In other words, "What you have done pleases me and because
you have pleased me, I am happy!."
Instead of saying,
"You didn't cry! I'm very proud
Try this: "You didn't
cry at swim lessons because you have worked so hard at being brave and coming
to every class even when you didn't feel like it! "
Instead of saying: You didn't leave your shoes in the floor
this time. I'm proud of you!"
Try saying: "You remembered
to put your shoes away because you've been paying attention to our rule about
picking up after yourself. You are really getting better at being
responsible! Aren't you proud of
True self-esteem comes from being proud of one's self. Knowing that the choices you have made and
actions you have taken are meaningful.
True self-esteem comes from within ourselves, not from the
approval of others. As parents you are
constantly guiding your children and teaching them about values and acceptable
behavior. And of course you should be encouraging them with your recognition
and praise, however, when you're ready to praise them, be sure to praise their
actions, not their ability to please you.
Summer Swim Tips
Now that the weather is warm, everyone is headed for the
pool! Don't be surprised if your little one becomes intimidated and seems to
have forgotten all of his swim skills. Here are some tips to making a smooth
transition from the swim school pool to the family pool.
1. It is normal for
your child to be cautious in an unfamiliar environment. Initially, he may want to stay in the baby
pool vs the big pool or hang out on the steps or the side. Allow him the freedom to take his time and go
at his own pace.
2. Your child is accustomed
to 90 degree water. Most outdoor pools
are going to be much cooler than this.
Cold muscles take longer to warm up. Therefore it will take longer to
relax and feel confident. Try wearing a regular rash guard or a thermal rash
guard to prevent the shivers.
3. Avoid floaties if
at all possible. Floaties give children
a false sense of confidence, makes submerging difficult and creates vertical
4. Spend a little time practicing what to do if you fall in.
Your child knows this as the "jump, turn and grab the wall" skill from swim
lessons at Little Otter. This is an
important safety skill to review.
5. Help your child to
be realistic about how far she can swim.
Ask her to swim out as far as she can and then turn around and swim
back. Many children will forget to
factor in the "swim back" part. They go out as far as they can and then they
can't get back. Teach your child to be
aware of just how far she can go.
6. A child is not safe in the water until he can swim 50
yards and get several independent breaths. And of course no child is ever drown
proof. Make sure that there is always an adult present who is actively watching
Bonus article from April and Thomas Garcia who bring their children to Little Otter and who own the Kids R Kids School of Quality Learning at Austin Village. To learn more about them call 704-821-2005 or click here
Teaching by demonstration
When giving children difficult or unfamiliar instructions,
it's easier for them to follow if you demonstrate. Words often aren't
enough for children to take on a new action. They need to be shown as
well as told. As you're demonstrating, talk about what you're
doing. If the activity is complicated, they'll need to be shown slowly in
small steps and given a chance to practice until they can do it. This is
good for specific learning activities (for example, learning how to dress
themselves). It is also good for things you ask your children to do
around the house (for example, setting the table).