Many say that it was wonderful that Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister of England. This is an example, they say, of how great it is for women to get into politics and, in general, to have careers. Let's look at this shining example. Thatcher is a workaholic. You have to be if you want to succeed in life. She is married to a workaholic. Both of them are rarely home. They have lived their life at their offices. A biographer of her says that while she was in school and, "a year after the wedding, Margaret learned she was pregnant .... She did not want birth to keep her from politics." Elizabeth had become queen of England and Margaret was so inspired she wrote an article for a newspaper called "Wake Up Women" saying, "Women can -- and must -- play a leading part in the creation of a glorious Elizabethan era." She encouraged women to have a career as well as have a family. She had twins and said, "I was concerned, particularly with two, that I might be tempted to spend all my time on the household and looking after them and not continue to read or use my mind or experience. I felt I must really use the rest of me as well." She got her law degree and decided to not have any more children." She never even breast-fed her twins." She was too busy with her career of running for political office.
She ran for office saying "I will let the people know what Conservatism is about and I will lead the troops into battle." And indeed she did. "By the time the twins reached five, they had not seen much of her, but once she was elected to Parliament, they would scarcely see her at all .... She made the children breakfast" and would call them at night from her office. The kids grew up with a nanny. Her husband would come home at 9 p.m. "Thatcher's first concentration is work, and from the twins' earliest days she was often gone or distracted by work at home .... without much of a childhood herself, she has never understood children .... Privately, say those close to her, she carries a heavy guilt complex for not being there for the twins when they needed her ... For all her toughness, she is highly sensitive and well aware that her workaholism and political success have come at a price that has contributed to [her children's] difficulties. 'She is an unbelievably successful politician,' says one of her closest friends, 'but an unsuccessful mother and she knows it." She was called the "Iron Lady." When she ran for office she would tell crowds, "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." Women would roar with approval. Unconsciously, men feel castrated.
In an interview for Cosmopolitan magazine she told millions of women, "I hope I see more and more women combining marriage and a career. Prejudice against this dual role is not confined to men. Far too often, I regret, it comes from our own sex .... It is possible to carry on working, taking a short leave of absence when families arrive and returning later. The idea that the family suffers is, I believe, quite mistaken. To carry on with a career stimulates the mind, provides a refreshing contact with the world outside -- and so means that a wife can be a much better companion at home." Satan's lie is told by conservatives too. You've come a long way baby. You can have it all -- as long, of course, if you give up having children and taking care of them. In the great scheme of things looking down from the heavens, maybe God used her for some great purpose, but even if she was needed she is an exception and 99.99% of women should do exactly the opposite of this horrible role model. In an article in Reader's Digest before she became Prime Minister, and was called the "Iron Lady", she had a reputation as being "described at hard, cold, bossy, tough. Columnists speak of her 'laser-beam stare,' 'fireproof' nerves and 'devastating killer instinct." For a woman to make it to the top in the marketplace it requires her to give up her maternal instincts to be a nester and gain these hunter characteristics. It is unfeminine and confuses men in the workplace. Women should only be workaholics in the home.
Father says women are to be men's supporters, not leaders. I agree. I hope the members do not get digested with this quixotic idea that there is some third way, some Completed Testament Way in which women can compete with men and somehow breast feed and home school 12 children. Members should not think like all feminists, that this is too restrictive, not exciting enough, not productive enough, too boring in this exciting time when the messiah walks the earth. So what if Father has mobilized women sometimes and had them travel around. Usually they were single anyway. And for those sisters who are married and have children and have sent to go out and do missionary work, he wants the husbands to make enough money at their jobs or business to support their wife so she can work full time as a witnesser. Father does not want women to fundraise or earn money. He wants men to be the financial supporters. While the wife is away, the children should be taken care of by those sisters in his city. He is not supposed to be a househusband either while she fundraises or works. So what if Mother and a few blessed sisters worked away from home. They represent a tiny percent of women. They are exceptions to the rule. Nora Spurgin said in Lifestyle that Father said sisters who have three or more children have a full-time mission to stay home and care for the children. The roles for men and women are not any more restrictive than rules for any game. We don't have to invent new ones, but play better than our competition.
Members must not see Father as inconsistent. The Bible is interpreted differently. We must not interpret Father differently. We must be absolutely united. In emergency situations there are times when we do extraordinary things, but we must never forget what God's pattern is. Even so, Father is overwhelmingly consistent about married women following their husbands and taking care of 12 children while the husband goes out to support them. He has mobilized single women and some married women at times to do "frontline" work and travel on teams. But I think he wouldn't have had to do that if we had understood the difference between men and women and treated women in a feminine way. Father experiments, but he is basically consistent. Members must not treat Father's words as Feminists treat the Bible by focusing on a few passages and building a whole ideology on it and saying that is what the author really meant. Thomas Boslooper is typical of this in his book The Image of Woman.
To push women into careers is cruelty, not indemnity. Father says men and women have totally different roles to play and never should they reverse them. He says God loves women more than men. She is his ultimate "masterpiece" and "receives more love from God" because "she is to be a mother". Even children prefer the mother, he says. The Victorians spoke like this. They idolized motherhood. They were weepy about it. In this horrible century, children are looked at as a burden. Father says that he "thinks in the far distance and Mother thinks of things close at hand. Woman is the realist". Women are made to stay home and care for children. God gave them the temperament for going round the clock taking care of babies. Men are outside mowing the yard in 100 degree heat and cleaning out gutters. Father spoke tenderly in the Day of Hope tours of Pilgrim fathers teaching their son about God's love for mankind and the earth while they were out in the fields planting. Men want to roam, to hunt. Women want to take care of their nests. I watched a Senator say that men are hunters and women are nesters in a speech at Yale, and the women in the audience booed him.
Father explains that motherhood is a career, "Raising up children is a big job." He says when she is pregnant she suffers and she "grabs God's attention more." Women go through pain in delivery so "God gives deeper love to them." He says women are "so precious" because they take care of babies and therefore are "connected to love more than men."
To emphasize how different men and women are he said once, "Man symbolizes heaven and woman symbolizes earth. They are to unite and form parallel lines." Men are different in that they need to lead. Not every man can lead nations. But every man can fulfill his masculine need for leadership by being the leader of his family. Father said "A man has to have authority." But he has to be a leader that goes out into the community and helps others, not be some martinet. Father says he will hurt his family if he doesn't: "If the head of the household doesn't help others, the family will suffer."
These quotes are in this context:"A woman has to be careful about her mouth. In the family, the problem is usually the woman. Women speak very quickly, like a motorcycle revving. So a woman must be careful with her mouth. Then how about men? A man has to have authority. He must be a person who has authority with which he can judge evil people." And:"The head of the household is responsible for helping others. If the husband, the head of the household, doesn't help others, the family will suffer." (Address at the Eighth Anniversary of the 777 Couples Blessing)
Father hammers home that only men lead. Father says that men are "presidents" of their family. They have the final say -- make the final decisions. The husband is the "judge" and the mother is the "lawyer" and they never interchange. He is the final disciplinarian. Father says, "The family represents the sovereign nation. The father is like the 'president' of the family; that means he must take responsibility for upholding all the laws and orderliness of the family. He must be the one ultimately to distinguish between what is right and wrong within that family. If the Father is in the position like a judge, then the mother's position is like that of a lawyer. The position of prosecutor is filled by the law itself."
This is the classic definition of patriarchy in the marriage manuals like the Andelins. How many sisters defer to their husbands as lawyers do to a judge? The only way to learn how to ride a bicycle is to practice. The only way men are going to learn how to be patriarchs is to be one. It's rough going at the beginning. I didn't yell at my son when he fell down the first few times. I didn't get impatient and give up. And I didn't ride the bike for him.
All organizations are hierarchical
All organizations are hierarchically arranged -- even in our church. Robert Nisbet in The Twilight of Authority says, "Wherever two or more people associate, there is bound to be some form of hierarchy, no matter how variable, changing from one actor to the other, or how minor. Hierarchy is unavoidable in some degree. Our gravest problem at the present time, in many respects, is the disrepute into which this word, this unavoidable necessity, has fallen as the consequence of the generalized philosophy of equalitarianism .... We have seen institution after institution weakened or crippled in the social order as the result of arbitrary power wielded by one or other regulatory agency in the name of a vain and rapid equality. At the present time the ascendant moral philosophy in the West is that which...takes what is in effect leveling as the desired norm of justice. How welcome would be Edmund Burke's words today: 'Believe me, Sir, those who attempt to level never equalize...."
A family is the most prevalent organization on earth. And the Kingdom of Heaven on earth for trillions of years will have men being the final decision makers. Father says he is most interested in the politics of the family which are all little countries, "The nation is basically a collection of families in which all the generations are included. (Our goal should not be nuclear families but extended families living in communities with other extended families) Each extended family symbolizes one small country .... the man (is) the 'president' of his family, which is a micro-country." Again, no interchanging going on. Father teaches that "training must begin in the family." When a man successfully leads his family then he is eligible to become "a nation's president, then a world's and ultimately a cosmic president." I don't know about you, but I think Father will be the cosmic president. He says the "the original cosmic president ... was Adam ... Adam would have been the ruler, the president."
Let me give a couple of examples from Christian books on marriage that speak on this principle that a man is president of his family. Father is just one person. He can't say and explain everything in every way so every person can understand. Other people can express some of his views in a way that helps people understand. The first is from a book called, You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband. She writes that the man is the president and the wife is the vice president and "each office carries with it heavy responsibilities [and] there is never any doubt who is the president. However, the president's success depends on the vice president's help in carrying out the policies. When new decisions have to be made, the president may consult the vice president for advice, but he assumes responsibility for the final decision."
"Once a policy is decided, they work together as a team to carry it out. The president may, if he chooses, delegate some of his authority to the vice president. When the president is gone, he can trust the vice president to carry on as if he himself were there. In this relationship, they share a oneness, good communication, emotional peace, and security, provided the vice president is not struggling to gain control of the organization!"
Phyllis Schlafly in The Positive Woman explains this concept this way to help women understand: "The Positive Woman recognizes that there is a valid and enduring purpose behind this recognition of different roles for men and women which is just as relevant in the twentieth century as it was in the time of Saint Paul. Every successful country and company has one 'chief executive officer.' None successfully functions with responsibility equally divided between cochairmen or copresidents. The United States has a president and a vice president. They are not equal. The vice president supports and carries out the policies enunciated by the president. Likewise with the presidents and vice-presidents of all business concerns. Vice-presidents can and do have areas of jurisdiction delegated to them, but there is always one final decision maker. The experience of the ages has taught us that this system is sound, practical, and essential for success. The republic of ancient Rome tried a system of two consuls of equal authority, and it failed. If marriage is to be a successful institution, it must likewise have an ultimate decision maker, and that is the husband."