Scientific studies are now showing when we devote ourselves to others by being kind, thoughtful, empathetic, and understanding, rather than focusing predominantly on ourselves, we will make lasting changes to our well-being.
Dr. Karyn Hall asserts in her article on The Importance of Kindness that "Being kind can strengthen your relationships and a sense of satisfaction in life."
There are many benefits to doing acts of kindness; here is a list of ten:
Can empathy be taught or is it genetically hard-wired? You may have heard people say; “You either have empathy, or you don’t," “Everyone is born with a certain amount of empathy,” “Girls have more empathy than boys.”
In Dr. Riess’ TEDx talk, she reveals her scientific findings that humans CAN develop greater empathy skills. As an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Riess has administered numerous studies using her E.M.P.A.T.H.Y. formula. Her formula has proven to increase empathy skills among those who use it.
Additionally, Daniel Coyle the author of “The Talent Code" states, a person can change his or her behavior and habits by growing myelin. You "grow" myelin by doing deep practice of a particular skill. Furthermore, in the book “Mindset,” Carol Dweck points out that if we develop a growth mindset, we can change the way we view and do things. In other words, you can teach an old dog new tricks if they have an open mindset.
It is important to continue to practice empathy skills with students of all ages, from pre-school to high school. We’ve put together a fun kindness activity to help you and your students improve your empathy skills.
Step 1: Open with a video
Show your students the age-appropriate video about empathy. We suggest you show the elementary video link to ALL grades K-12 before showing the age-appropriate video. Why? The elementary video is easy to understand.
Step 2: Read stories
Print off all three stories that we adapted from Character Education:
For younger grades, have a parent volunteer or teacher read the stories to the class. For older grades, ask for three student volunteers to read each story to the class. If your classroom has the capability, you could project the stories.
Step 3: Discuss the empathy formula
Write Dr. Riess' empathy formula on the board.
E = eye contact
M = movement
P = posture
A = affect or expressed emotions
T = tone of voice
H = hearing the whole person without judgment
Y = your response
You can do this discussion as a whole group or pair students into smaller groups. Discuss how the empathy formula is unfolding in each of the stories. Ask the students to come up with specific examples from each story. For instance, in the story "Puppies For Sale," the last line - “With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.”
Step 4: Brainstorm real issues
As a class brainstorm and write out a list of struggles that people might be going through; this can be a family pet that has just passed, a grandparent who is sick, a bad grade in class, someone who is struggling with a particular friendship, being stressed out about an exam, etc.
Step 5: Give a message of kindness
Ask your students (and yourself) to get out a piece of paper. Have them to write down a name of someone they know who has been struggling or maybe just needs a little kindness done for them. Invite your students to write a note or draw a picture for the person they wrote down. Then ask your students to give his or her message of kindness to that person as soon as it is possible.
Share your stories, pictures, and thoughts with us! #ichoose2bekind
Taking strategic breaks throughout your day can refresh your brain and help you find solutions to difficult problems.
According to Psychology Today, breaks improve emotional health, prevent decision fatigue, restores motivation, increases productivity and creativity, strengthens memory, and enhances learning.
Do these three acts of self-kindness this week; they will provide you with mini-mental breaks that will keep you moving forward.
Kindness is an effective way to increase the feeling of belonging and has the power to change a community. When we perform acts of kindness, we promote a sense of gratitude for our own lives and compassion for others.
Tom Tait previous Mayor of Anaheim, California, believes kindness can heal our cities. Mayor Tait, says kindness is an action word, and he called his community to get off the couch and do something kind. Mayor Tait believes kindness "can change a family, a neighborhood, a school, a city, a nation, and ultimately, our world."
Kindness can positively connect us. According to Psychology Today, "When you feel connected with others, you lessen alienation, and you enhance the sense that we are more similar than dissimilar in our experiences. Feeling connected melds us together rather than divides us."
We invite you to increase your sense of belonging and create a stronger community through kindness. Do these five acts of kindness this week!
We'd love to hear how you and your students are doing with your weekly kindness challenges. You can let us know by commenting on this blog post or share on social media using #iChoose2BeKind.
Until next time...be present, be thoughtful, be kind.
You know you are practicing self-kindness when you can recognize the difference between making a bad decision and being a bad person. You understand that your worth is unconditional.
Self-compassion is critical for healthy self-esteem and resilience. According to Ravi Shah, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, "There is a lot of discussions today about narcissism and its problems, but we do want people to have some healthy narcissism."
Psychology Today states, healthy narcissism gives a "stable sense of self when things don't go well in life, whether it's a bad day, a loss in competition, or the loss of a job. If we lose our sense of self-worth during these challenges of life, we will have a hard time recovering."
The doctors are saying it is good for you to practice self-kindness! So what are you waiting for, do these three acts of self-kindness this week and see how amazing you can feel.
According to Patty O'Grady, Ph.D., an expert in the area of neuroscience, emotional learning, and positive psychology with an emphasis on the educational arena, experiencing acts of kindness can change the brain of children and adolescents.
Dr. Patty O'Grady says, "Children and adolescents do not learn kindness by only thinking about it and talking about it. Kindness is best learned by feeling it so that they can reproduce it. Kindness is an emotion that students feel, and empathy is a strength that they share."
Studies show students who actively participate in performing acts of kindness are:
Friday Kindness Recap
Happy Friday and welcome to October! A new season is upon us, the air is crisp, and the leaves are changing. In a survey, 45.6% of people identified Fall as their favorite season. How about you? What is your favorite season? Tell us by posting a comment on our blog or using the #ichoose2bekind on social media.
Here is your recap of the week of September 30 - October 06:
Five Acts of Kindness. Are you a Go-Giver of Kindness? How did your acts of kindness go this week? What book did you give away? We'll bet someone really enjoyed the morning latte you gave away this week.
Blog Post: Be a Go-Giver of Kindness
Kind News. Sometimes it is hard to believe there is good in the world. If you are feeling that way today, read these three stories, and you will have a change of heart.
Self-Kindness. Dustin Wax from Lifehack says, "When we write something down, research suggests that as far as our brain is concerned, it's as if we were doing that thing. Writing seems to act as a kind of mini-rehearsal for doing."
Blog Post: Benefits of Hand-Writing Your Self-Kindness
Kindness in Action. Post your pictures using #iChoose2BeKind or #KindnessInAction, and we will post them to our blog & social media channels!
Article on Kindness. Can empathy be taught, or is it genetically hard-wired? You may have heard people say; "You either have empathy, or you don't," "Everyone is born with a certain amount of empathy," "Girls have more empathy than boys." Carol Dweck points out that if we develop a growth mindset, we can change the way we view and do things. In other words, you can teach an old dog new tricks if they have an open mindset.
Blog Post: Fun Kindness Project on Empathy
Report back and tell us how it felt to be kind to others. Comment on our blog or social media using the #ichoose2bekind
Until next time... be thoughtful, be present, be kind.
Three Acts of Self-Kindness
According to The Wall Street Journal, the act of writing engages your motor-skills, memory, and forces you to slow down. The article goes on to say, new research shows that when you write by hand, you engage the brain in active learning.
Dustin Wax from Lifehack says, "When we write something down, research suggests that as far as our brain is concerned, it's as if we were doing that thing. Writing seems to act as a kind of mini-rehearsal for doing."
Let's see if the research is valid; we invite you to practice self-kindness this week by doing the following writing activities. Let us know how it goes!
Five Acts of Kindness for 9.30-10.6
In the book, the Go-Giver, authors, Bob Burg, and John David Mann suggest when you change your focus from getting to giving incredible things will happen to you.
Similarly, The Arbinger Institute, literary works, and workshops focus on educating schools and organizations on the principle of changing the culture by changing mindsets. Arbinger Institute states, "mindset drives behaviors, changing behavior requires a fundamental change in mindset. What may seem to be a behavior problem is actually a mindset problem."
This week we invite you to switch your focus from getting to giving and changing your mindset from I-It to I-You. Perform these five acts of kindness with a giving heart:
Until next time... be present, be thoughtful, and be kind.
Wednesday Challenge 9.25.19
We've been practicing self-kindness for about one month now. Practicing self-kindness can feel a little strange when you first start doing it but, like anything else, it gets more comfortable overtime.
Are you still struggling with the idea of practicing self-kindness? If so, watch this TedTalk by Kristen Neff. She walks you through what self-compassion is and why it is so essential to your mental health. Also, in the talk, Neff touches on the importance of modeling self-kindness at school and home.
Keep practicing self-kindness, and we promise you will make a significant impact on those around you. Do these three acts of self-kindness this week:
Until next time... be thoughtful, be present, be kind!
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Note From the Founder
Hello. I am the founder of the 21 Day Kindness Challenge Program.