Teaching children to control their emotions is a challenge to many parents. The truth is that most parents are also learning to control their own emotions, especially when kids misbehave. You cannot shield your children from negative emotions but you can teach them how to react and deal with such emotions. If you have an overly emotive child, you can manage him or her in the following ways:
Empathize with Your Child’s Emotions
Empathy helps your overly emotive child understand that he or she is not a bad person for having bad emotions or getting upset. Let your child know that you understand his or her emotions. Children feel safe enough to express their emotions instead of suppressing them when their parents are compassionate. Allowing your children to express their emotions does not mean that you allow bad behavior. It means that you understand that they have limited capacity to control their emotions at their age and make the right choices.
Model Emotional Management
Your child will learn to control his or her emotions by observing your behavior. You cannot throw a tantrum every time your child misbehaves and neither can you respond to his or her yelling with yelling. If your child upsets you, take some moments to calm yourself down before addressing the misconduct. You can walk out of the room and return after a few minutes if your child is old enough.
Prioritize Guided Behavior
Most parents punish their children whenever they act out in anger. Time outs and spanking will not help your overly emotive child control his or her emotions. Your priority should be guiding your child into the right behavior. If you must punish your child, which is necessary for some situations, help them understand that you are punishing them for bad behavior and not bad emotions. Otherwise, your child will suppress emotions to avoid punishment and eventually lash out when he or she can no longer hold the emotions.
Establish a Deep Connection
Children lash out at times when they need attention from their parents. When you soothe your child, he or she will learn to soothe bad emotions. Try reconnecting with your child by spending more time with them if you notice that their emotions are getting out of hand. Show them appreciation and love even when their emotions are upsetting. They will cooperate instead of misbehaving when they feel loved. A nurturing connection works for older children as well.
Sometimes the only way to help an overly emotive child is to get medical help. If you have tried everything but nothing seems to work, allow a professional to assist your child. Getting professional help is particularly important for parents who have problems controlling their own emotions. The issues causing unregulated emotions in your child may be beyond your control. A professional counselor or psychiatrist will identify the root causes and give you direction on how to manage your child’s behavior.
Parents have a critical role to play in helping their children accept and manage their emotions. Parents should help their children understand their reaction to their emotions is a choice and guide them in making the right choices. In addition, parents should establish a deep connection and create an atmosphere where children feel safe to express their emotions.