Civil dialogue, both in-person and on-line, can be difficult to maintain, especially with those who differ politically. It is something, however, which has been addressed by our Office of Civic Engagement, in past and current events, and which can be done. Panelists at a 2015 Civic Engagement workshop, all of them politicians and familiar with heated debates on important topics, recommended these tips for those striving to create civility:
- see opponents as real people
- actively listen
- know the full story
- be constructive.
At a 2016 workshop hosted by the same group, panelists Brian King, Democrat Representative; Sheryl Allen, former Republican Representative; Scott Howell, former Democrat Senator; and Deidre Henderson, Republican Senator, spoke on a similar topic: Finding Common Ground with Those Who Differ Politically.
What is Civility?
Each of the panelists offered a different definition:
- Senator Henderson: “Never impune another person’s motivations.”
- Former Senator Howell: “Do more listening than talking.”
- Former Representative Allen: “Make the effort to understand the other side. Civil discourse begins with each and every one of us.”
- Representative King: “Separate political from personal.”
How can You be Civil?
Representative King spoke about the importance of reaching out. He said, “Disarm people who might be suspicious of you. Get personal but in a positive way.” He added that he likes to seek out and get to know people with opposing political views; he talks to them about things other than politics. The Democrat also talked about remaining civil even when one’s constituents don’t want you to be. He said that politicians “greatest supporters” often want them to be “their weapon, their tool, their instrument” and not necessarily get along with others. He cautioned politicians to resist that.
Former Senator Howell said, quoting the Dalai Lama: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
In the Utah State Senate, said Senator Henderson, there are 24 Republicans and 5 Democrats. “I esteem [all of] them and value their input. No bill passed solely on a partisan vote. No one party has all the answers. Hence, it’s important to listen to other people’s ideas.”
Former President of the United States Barack Obama once said, “We have to remember that we’re actually all on one team…We’re not Democrats first, we’re not Republicans first, we are Americans first. We’re patriots first. We all want what’s best for this country.”