Dating & Domestic Violence...
Dating and Domestic Violence
Dating and domestic violence: any act, attempt, or
threat of force by a family member or intimate partner against another family
and domestic violence occurs in all socio-economic, educational, racial, and age
groups. The issues of power and control are at the heart of family violence. The
batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors to gain power and
Intimidation: Smashing things, abusing pets,
destroying victim's property, displaying weapons.
Threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to harm
the victim, to commit suicide, to report him or her to child welfare, to make
him or her drop charges.
Isolation: Controlling what the victim does, sees,
and reads, limiting who the victim talks to.
Emotional abuse: Putting the victim down, calling
him or her names, making him or her think he or she's crazy, playing mind
involved in an abusive relationship might display certain behavioral signs
Inconsistent explanations: Victims may provide
inconsistent explanations as to the cause of their injuries due to fear of
alerting others to the severity of their situation.
Alcohol abuse: Victims may use alcohol as a means
of escape from their everyday reality of abuse.
Injuries in multiple stages of healing: Bruises are
the most common form of injury and have the following stages of healing:
purple to green to yellow.
Does the Victim Stay?
Financial dependence: Batterers may have forbidden
their partners from getting or keeping a job or may have kept secret the
location and balance of bank accounts.
Lack of social support: Batterer may have
controlled victim's contact with friends, family, and the outside world. Such
isolation limits her or his ability to obtain help with an escape.
Fear of severe physical attack: Batterer may use
threats of attack to keep victim in a state of perpetual fear. The batterers
may tell their victims that, if they leave, they will be killed.
Self-blame: It is not uncommon for victims to
believe that the abuse is a result of their real or imagined offenses.
Belief that the violence is temporary or caused by unusual circumstances:
Often batterers place blame for abuse on external sources, alcohol, work
pressures, etc. and do not take responsibility for their actions.