Early relationships are the key to children's behaviour. Adults interact with babies to establish a bond. Bonding is about developing babies' sense of trust. A child who learns in the context of nurturing and caring relationships has a secure base, which will benefit all of their future development and behaviour. How can we help our kids grow up to be happy, capable adults? How we behave as parents will influence how our children's behaviour develops. Our children learn from our example.
- To build the confidence and ability to parent positively.
- To use a firm and fair approach to parenting.
- To understand the difference between discipline and punishment.
Begin the session with an appropriate settling in time — for example, karakia, gathering thoughts, waiata and simple ‘hellos’. Whānau may share thoughts or feelings, if they wish.
Mix and match from the pūtea of workshops. Tailor the session and choose workshops that you think would work best for the group at this time.
Workshop 2, ‘Children’s voices’ is a great way to start. After that, choose the workshops that will best suit your group.
Before you plan this module, it’s a good idea to look at the ‘Six principles of effective discipline’ page on this website. This gives a comprehensive background to managing behaviour, and many of the SKIP resources are based on it.
So, how can we help our kids grow up to be happy, capable adults? Following are the main ideas to share with whānau on managing behaviour.
Being a good example
When we talk about managing behaviour so that children grow up to be happy and capable adults, the first person’s behaviour we have to manage is our own. How we behave as parents will influence how our children’s behaviour develops. Our children learn from our example. It’s as simple as that.
You can take steps to teach your child positive behaviours. Right from the start, early relationships are very important for a child’s learning and development. Good communication is vital, and makes all the difference. Listening and talking to babies and young children makes them feel safe and supported as they start to explore the world.
Adults interact with babies to establish a bond. Bonding is about developing babies’ sense of trust. A child who learns in the context of nurturing and caring relationships has a secure base, which will benefit all of their future development and behaviour.
Reading your child
Other adults may give parents lots of advice on how to be a ‘good’ parent. But the child gives the most important information about what they need.
- Try to see the world through the eyes of the child.
- Think about how they’re making sense of the world and what they’re learning.
Listening to and including your child
Even when life is busy, stressful or hard, make time to listen to your child — give them time to gather their thoughts and find the words they need.
- Keep the pace of the conversation slow.
- Let them know when it’s their turn by using your tone of voice, facial expressions and words.
- Provide a suitable play environment.
- Slowly build up what is considered ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, according to whānau culture and what is seen as important.
- Provide their caregiving routine warmly and cheerfully, and involve them as much as possible.
- Help children develop a sense of self-control.
- Ensure they are included in and feel part of the whānau and of whānau routines.
- SKIP website
- Order free copies of the SKIP booklets:https://resources.skip.org.nz/
- Tips for babies
- The tricky bits
- The tricky bits: Tips for under-fives
- Whakatipu booklet series on child development
- Aroha in action
- Love being a mum…It’s worth every moment
- Take time to be a dad…It’s life changing
- Staying calm with kids
Home visiting pages
- Staying calm with kids
- Staying calm with kids 19–24 months old
- Discipline and role models
- Guiding a baby who is on the move