Do you feel guilty about cutting your child off? Don't. Self-sufficiency is rewarding and highly desirable. Here's how you can help your grown kid achieve it:
- Expect your child to become self-sufficient and communicate that expectation. This will spur each of you to actively work toward the goal.
- Help your adult child develop a budget to live within his means, not yours.
- Set deadlines. Let your kid know that on X date, you'll stop paying the bills.
- If your child wants to move back in with you -- or is currently living with you -- make it clear you'll help for a limited time, such as three months. Stick to it, and periodically remind him of the goal date so it doesn't sneak up.
- Give your child duties and responsibilities while living with you. Your goal is twofold: to help him save money for a fresh start and to make him want to move out.
Getting your mooching child to live independently takes work, but it's a wonderful feeling for everyone when the grown-up kid in question realizes that he can take care of himself.
See the next page for lots more information on parenting adult children.