Doubts cause people many problems. They lead to a host of feelings including insecurity, reduced self esteem, frustration, depression and despair. The breadth of things we can have doubts about makes life more complicated, such as worrying about the integrity of other people, the reality of our personal beliefs and whether or not we've made the right choices. A fulfilling life is not one waylaid by doubts––in learning how to explore them and let them go, you can find greater internal peace.
1Investigate what doubt is all about. It is very important to understand not only the context, but the subject of the doubt. It is also important to recognise that not all doubts are bad things. Some issues might make you feel uncomfortable, but that is because you are dealing with something that isn't quite right but part of your mind wants it to be. Looking closely at things is important to bring them into focus and to see them clearly.
- The ability to doubt is hardwired into the mind as doubts don't happen without a reason; they are a valuable survival skill. But even though they aren't 100 per cent reliable, they are reliable enough to be a sign that something is not right, or that there is something missing to make the picture complete. Sometimes doubt can be resolved by becoming more educated about the subject, but if the subject itself is not based in reality then the doubts are most often suppressed and not resolved, which is at the expense of well being and mental health.
- Sometimes the reason is based on wrong advice, so if someone told you something was happening but when you go to see it and it wasn't quite right, you get doubts. In this case, the original image or idea is flawed. There are really many reasons why doubt may occur, but they always have a reason and that understanding that reason is the crucial ingredient to resolving the doubt.
2Test your doubts. Whatever your doubt is, make your own experiment by comparing it with the facts or what is known by experience. If it's just one of those things you can never really test or know, then accept that you might never know the answer. Many doubts appear deceptively simple, but can be very subtle and difficult to handle and some appear complex but can resolve themselves easily. The main focus is that all the little pieces might make a picture after all.
- Doubts usually exist because there really is something wrong with the bigger picture. Find out what is the mind's objection to what you're seeing. Ask yourself why there is doubt in this case. It might be the tiniest and most subtle thing, but the mind has always been very good at looking at the small details while we are good at ignoring them.
3Let go of the things you can't confirm or disprove for the things you can't test. Likewise for the ones you have tested but found they have no basis in fact, let go of these doubts as well. Once you know where you stand, you have much firmer ground to stand on and let it go. Sometimes you can only answer some questions when we are advanced enough to find out.
- Consider this analogy. It's really a lot like viruses and bacteria. Hundreds of years ago, diseases were believed to be caused by the supernatural, by curses, or black magic. Today we know disease is caused by viruses or bacteria (and so forth) but we could only know when the equipment was invented to see it and test it. Once we learn the real causes, the idea of black magic or other strange causes no longer applies and the idea falls away once the mind has seen for itself. But in places where the technology or science does not exist, or more commonly is denied, then curses, black magic and other divine, malign or supernatural acts are reckoned as the cause.
- It's wise to take a little time to think about how your doubt arises, why your doubts arise, but just as importantly why it affects people to make them unhappy. This might take time, but it usually happens when you stop trying to make it resolve itself as the mind stops trying to fight the doubt and instead relaxes to allow the rest of the mind to be more observant.
4Find and talk to someone that can give you a real answer. These are typically people who have studied their subject, are experienced or are intellectually competent to answer the question. Quite often such a discussion fixes the problem right away as the other person might know or give advice on handling the problem. If a person is not available, conduct your own research online in private, trying to get all facts and sides of the argument as possible. Small groups can be a great way to discuss general doubts, but again be wary who you select as they might not be able to give you any answers, or any answers that are reliable.
- Learn to recognise when a person you talk to is not suitable to answer your question, or if their answers are not trustworthy. Some key signs of lack of trustworthiness include: they tell you "just don't think about it" or "you mustn't think like that"; or the use emotional manipulation, such as "If you love me you'll believe it"; or they press you into having blind trust for the sake of your present or future well being. When many issues are political and hard to find non-biased advice or information, many people are forced to accept an inaccurate reality so as not to become separated from others.
- While some problems are baited hooks for the mind, some really should be looked into. You have to decide that and by measuring against your experiences is really the only way to know.
5Consider why your doubt makes you unhappy. Next look at the mind to see how it works as well as why doubt makes you feel unhappy. Like Auguste Rodin's "The Thinker", our doubts form a timeless image of humanity, that we all at some time are exposed to things that cause us issues and drives us to find a solution.
- The important things to note about many doubts is that they spread much like viruses; we always get them by exposure either to other people, or when undergoing conflicting experiences. Very often we live without doubts simply because we never thought about things in the first place and lived in an inevitably fragile pseudo-bliss of ignorance.
- The unhappiness is because the mind doesn't like doubts and uncertainty as it shakes our self esteem and sense of security. It's caused because we are holding onto the confusion, rather than letting the question or need to resolve it go.
- Wanting the confusion to be non-existent is ultimately the cause of the unhappiness and stress as when the mind is legitimately in doubt, it will continue to be until the doubt is proved and actions made to resolve it, or until the doubt is disproved and let go of. The mind is protecting itself from a danger by using confusion and doubts as a warning bell.
6Practise letting go of doubts on a daily basis. The article on letting go of thoughts and feelings offers some suggestions to build practical skills and tips to let go. The key question we often ask is what's at the end of the road? Only if you walk down it will you ever know.
- While there are some questions people would greatly prefer not to ask or look into, it won't solve the problem with doubt. It is only by testing it to your satisfaction that you'll really put the doubt to rest.
- It is important to understand that letting go is not simply abandoning, suppressing, destroying or crushing your doubt. It's accepting the facts of things that are as they are. You can only move on by growing above the original cause of the doubt and the unhappiness, which is wanting false things to be true, or wanting the things that are true to be false.
- Strive to remember that doubt arises for good reasons so it is not your enemy or a sign of inferiority, as doubt is used by your mind to warn you to avoid a danger. Unhappiness can be balanced out with kindness and compassion to ourselves based on wisdom, accepting the facts of life and appreciation of what you have.
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- Ignoring what is going wrong can help at times. However, don't ignore anything that you have the ability to act constructively towards, such as paying off bills or mending a relationship.
- If you're right, there isn't a need to give an explanation. The more you try to explain, the more complicated it can get and the more the other person can argue.
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