IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT ME!
By Miyelmi Josefina Abraham
Follow us on Instagram: @mypositivekidcoach
It is a common expression used in Spanish; from which, I would like to start writing this, the 1st article to my Blog of Life Coaching for parents. From this phrase, I can give off many analogies; but the main one, in my opinion, that words, reflect the biggest challenge of human relationships: The world does not revolve around you!
We live on a planet where there are as many perspectives as people are in it!
So, at this point, I would like to highlight the relevance in our lives and our relationships; of a word, that people often use but most of them don’t know how to practice: Empathy.
According to the website “definición.de “this word derives from the Greek word “empatheia”, also called interpersonal intelligence (a term coined by Howard Gardner) and refers to the cognitive ability of a person, to understand the emotional universe of another” .
Based on that definition, which I can take 3 keywords: skill, understanding and emotions; I could say that “empathy is the ability to understand emotions”. This means, that individuals need to develop skills for managing emotions as an essential tool for life. This teaching comes from early childhood; so, parents must help children, to discover and understand the feelings of others and their own. If they cannot express their emotions, it is difficult to develop a real empathy with someone around. You have to show them the world, with a vision of sensitivity.
So, Empathy, is part of our essence as human beings, begins with our ability to understand from another perspective (learning even on the expectation of others), it is not about to change our view, religion or values, it is simply to assess people’ perspectives and caring for others.
From my view; “Empathy is the key to change the world!” Starting because it would help prevent bullying and other forms of intolerance.
But how we can cultivate an empathy culture in our children?
There are several methods, tips and techniques that can help in this process. But I’m going to share with you what I have defined as the 6 commandments to help children develop empathy:
- Be empathetic with your children. That helps them to develop …
Self-esteem: be always positive.
Confidence: You know how fun it is to be a child, because you are also one *
Security: We learn from our mistakes.
2. Be empathetic to your environment …
Gratitude:after received a good service.
Sensibility: To forgive others for any wrongdoing to us, everyone has had a bad day once.
Equality: Each work is needed in the world. We are all valuable.3. Provide opportunities for children to practice empathy…
Teamwork: Sports, board games or any game that require decision.
Family: Let your children participate in family conflicts or challenges where they can review and understand the perspective of a family member.
Review: Talk with your children about controversial issues, giving your views on others and encouraging them to participate.4. Encourage your children to express their emotions.
Fun: Play with your kids something like… “My favorite thing is…” The best part of my day was…” “One thing that upset me was…” “My favorite person is … because I love it when …”
Freedom: Do not force your children to feel your way, to love something or someone just because you think is right. Explain why that is important for you, but respect his/her feelings. Also ask why and how you can help?5. Making mistakes is natural and is ok!
You have made mistakes and you keep doing. Kids are human as well. Being mad about their mistakes, just makes them feel, they are doing something wrong and you will be disappointed about them. You should say that is normal, and encourage them to find solutions.
- Being different is wonderful!
Perfection does not exist. It’s all about perspective!
Disillusionment is relative. It is an expectations improper handling.These 6 Commandments will help you to cultivate a culture of empathy with your children and maintain healthy relationships! So, START NOW!My wishes for you: Tears of joy, warm hugs and HAPPY children!If you liked this article, share it! and remember to follow us on Instagram: @mypositivekidcoach* Includes maturity and physical changes