All people, regardless of their gender, embody two opposing and complementing polarities. These polarities can be easily portrayed as male, the one that makes it possible for us to function and survive in the physical form, and the female, the emotions and intuition that guide us on our life’s journey. Within these polarities are inherent different kinds of archetypes. For example, the caretaker, the nurturer, the hero, the protector, the healer and others…
When two people fall in love, there is often a recognition of a kindred spirit taking place. But what people feel as chemistry is usually the attraction of opposing polarities to each other. One person sees in the other what is missing in themselves. The other person not only embodies the opposite gender, but the courage, strength, indifference, warmth, patience, tenacity that their partner is often lacking.
It is said that women tend to marry men like their fathers and men tend to marry women like their mothers. The reason why the tendency exists isn’t just love for our parents. Our parents psychologically conditioned us. They taught us to behave in a certain way that complements their own behavioral patterns. This means that it would be easiest for us to form a union with somebody like our parents. It would require the least amount of change, adaptation and effort.
Childhood conditioning is present in everyone, though often on a subconscious level rather than a conscious one. So one of the simplest ways to predict compatibility between two people and to foresee the potential difficulties in their relationship, is to ask each person in the couple what their three dominant archetypes are and what archetypes they would like to see in their partner.
If both people in the relationship favor archetypes of the same polarity or are drawn to something very different from what their partner is looking for, then you know that trouble is on the horizon. One or both partner’s in the union will soon get resentful, believing that their lover is not meeting their needs.
If the people in the relationship favor complementing archetypes, the union is likely to last longer. But problems will still arise if the two individuals are too polarized. A very polarized individual often chooses to make themselves feel whole through the outside in and not from the inside out. Instead of working on better developing their male or female attributes, the person finds someone who has already developed the qualities they themselves lack, and try to espouse that person. To become one with them.
The most stable couple isn’t always the one most passionately in love. The most stable couple consists of two relatively balanced individuals. One who slightly favors the female polarity, the other who slightly favors the male. Their archetypes complement and empower each other.
While their ability to depend on each other is a bonus that makes them stronger, letting go of the partnership would neither endanger nor devastate them.