This is an era of social media. We see people are promoting positivity culture by posting “good vibes only” and “having a positive attitude” all the time. Pushing only ‘good vibes’ is what we call toxic positivity culture or false positivity.
Today there are a lot of reasons to feel down. One of the most terrible reasons is the coronavirus pandemic. It has impacted us on both local and international levels. There are health concerns, loneliness, and stress. Most importantly, financial uncertainty has impacted us in several ways. These conditions have impacted the mental health of people. They feel stressed, nervous, and depressed.
Today, what we all need is positivity. However, not all forms of positivity are good for you.
Defining Toxic Positivity:
It is a culture of showing yourself as happy no matter what. In this idea, people are encouraged to always see the bright side of life. Moreover, they are encouraged to not open up about anything bad. It is all over social media. You see “just smile!”, “it’s nothing”,” positive vibes only”, and “you’ll be fine” frequently. All these are negative effects of positive thinking. When unpleasant emotions are avoided, they get bigger. This is because you intentionally avoid those feelings. As a human, we are not programmed this way to make ourselves feel only happy.
Toxic Positivity in Times of Coronavirus:
The concept of this culture has gone into overdrive during the times of coronavirus. If people are still finding inner peace during this period, it is amazing. However, if you do not let yourself feel any negative emotion, you are not dealing with how you really feel. It is important to accept multiple emotions. There could be multiple emotions within you at once. There is a lot of loss of life due to coronavirus. This loss is enough to make to feel upset. However, you can still enjoy the benefits of lockdown such as precious family time.
Signs of Toxic Positivity:
- When you hide your emotions
- When you feel shameful of your feelings
- When you avoid things that are disturbing you with an “it is what it is”
- When you shame other people for expressing stress
- When you minimize the emotions of other people with “feel good” quotes
Toxic Positivity Meme:
The Right Way to be Positive:
The right way is to accept difficult emotions. It decreases the strength of those emotions. It feels good when you share about your hard times with your friend or partner. When you get negative thoughts off your chest, it feels like lifting a weight from your shoulder. It is beneficial to look at the bright side of things. However, it is also important to listen to unpleasant emotions. You cannot be a ray of sunshine all the time. This is not how a human works. In reality, processing all forms of emotions makes you better understand yourself.
Mark Manson in his book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life” said:
“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.”
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