Coping with Stress
An article by Healthguide.org
It may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level. The bills aren’t going to stop coming,
there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, and your career or family responsibilities
will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization
that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.
Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your
environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work,
relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.
Identify the sources of stress in your life
Stress management starts with identifying
the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always
obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you
may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than
the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will
remain outside your control.
- Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though
you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
- Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”)
or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
- Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and
Look at how you currently cope with stress
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress
journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive?
Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:
- Drinking too much
- Overeating or undereating
- Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
- Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
- Using pills or drugs to relax
- Sleeping too much
- Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
- Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health,
it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all
require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to
choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it.
No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies.
Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Stress management strategy #1: Avoid unnecessary stress
Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed.
You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate
- Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your
personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching
them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
- Avoid people who stress you out If someone consistently causes stress in your life
and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end
the relationship entirely.
- Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious,
turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the
market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
- Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off
your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing
it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
- Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks.
If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that
aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
Stress management strategy #2: Alter the situation
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things
so the problem doesn’t present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate
and operate in your daily life.
- Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone
is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your
feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
- Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do
the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
- Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing
your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home,
say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
- Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched
too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t
overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you’re under
Stress management strategy #3: Adapt to the stressor
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your
sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.
- Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective.
Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your
favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
- Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how
important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over?
If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
- Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting
yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn
to be okay with “good enough.”
- Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all
the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy
can help you keep things in perspective
Stress management strategy #4: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself.
If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors
when they inevitably come.
|Healthy ways to relax and recharge|
- Go for a walk.
- Spend time in nature
- Call a good friend.
- Sweat out tension with a good workout.
- Write in your journal.
- Take a long bath.
- Light scented candles
- Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
- Play with a pet.
- Work in your garden.
- Get a massage.
- Curl up with a good book.
- Listen to music.
- Watch a comedy
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care
of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
- Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule.
Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and
recharge your batteries.
- Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life.
A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
- Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy,
whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
- Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself.
The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
This and other helpful articles relating to your health can be found