What you need to know about
Type 4: The More Serious Child
Primary Connection to the World: Intellectual
Primary Movement: Straightforward and exact
Primary Need: to be respected by their parents
and family members and respect them in return
Often described as...
Articulate, Bold, Clear, Concise, Deeply Loyal, Dignified, Efficient, Exact, Focused, Honorable, Literal, Logical, Mature, Precise, Poised, Polite, Proper, Reflective, Reserved, Responsible, Serious, Still, Structured, Thorough, Well Mannered, Well Behaved
Please don't use these negative labels...
Bossy, Brash, Condescending, Critical, Harsh, Judgement, Know-it-all, Loner, Opinionated, Rebellious
Type 4 Children Need...
1. Support in being their own authority
Type 4 children need to be their own authority from the earliest age possibe. Instead of power struggles and frustration, you will have mutual cooperation and life long bonds.
Need respect for their sense of authority, their logical nature and their bold stance in their opinions. They will respond dramatically from this experience.
Respect their need for space and time that is just theirs. This includes reprimanding them privately, and never embarrassing them public. Treat their belongings as private possessions, especially those they care most about.
4. Encouragement to live true to who they are
Refer to the phrases in each of the developmental stages further down.
5. Time for reflection
Don't demand instant answers to the questions you ask. They need time to think deeply and thoroughly before sharing their opinions about something new. Quiet time to connect with self should be allowed daily.
6. Undivided attention when communicating
Look them in the eye, listen without distractions or interruptions and don't make them repeat themselves. It you are too distracted at the moment, set aside a time in the near future when you can give undivided attention. This is especially honouring to a type 4.
7. Help to see the bigger picture by giving them advanced notice
Keep your type 4 in the loop when it comes to daily plans, weekly plans and family vacations. When they are mentally organised they can move forward with ease. Let them know as soon as you can of any changes, so they have time to reorganise and process. Give them a 15 minute warning that they need to wrap up what they are doing before hand.
8. Social help
Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests and abilities. Encourage this relationship, even if the friend moves. Do not push them to make lots of friends or be engaged in large social activities with a lot of people.
9. Don't sweat the small stuff
You'll experience plenty of opportunity to feel challenged by your Type 4 child's perfecting eye and seemingly endless criticisms. Decide today to let go of your frustration and focus on showing respect to your child in order to create mutual respect between you.
10. Avoid these phases and judgments:
- you are such a loner
- stop being so picky
- what a know-it-all
- Smile more!
- Lighten up
- You're uptight
- Quit being so critical
Tuttle, C (2012) The Child Whisperer Live your Truth: USA pp. 297 - 300
Tell me more...
Natural Gift: Respect and efficiency
Personality Traits: More serious than the other types
Thought and Feeling Processes: Black and white, all or nothing
Communication: Logical and concise
Family Relationships: Ever loyal, often misunderstood
Friends & Social Settings: Need their alone time
Timeliness: Love consistency and routine
Jobs & Chores: Thorough and reliable
Money Management: Thoughtful about spending
Recreational Activities: One track at a time
Learning Style: Duplication with improvements
Classroom Behaviour: Adapt to structure if respected
Study Habits: Repetition is useful
Challenges: Power struggles and respect
Learning to Walk: Following the grown-ups
Learning to Talk: Striving to speak perfectly
Toilet Training: Matter-of-fact
Sleeping: Best served by a sleep schedule
Starting School: Need time to observe
Baby Sitting: Need advanced notice
Dating: All or nothing
High School Experience: Fewer, closer friends
Driving: Efficient drivers (and backseat drivers)
- Baby 0 to 18 Months -Need to be validated for their inwardly still, structured nature and to be supported in starting to explore and sense the world around them.
- Toddler 18 Months to 3 Years - Need support in sensing, exploring and doing in the world. Learning to do things by themselves!
- Pre-school 3 to 6 Years - Coming into their own identity and power and feeling a sense of their own authority.
- School Age 6 to 12 Years - Need to fit in, working with structure, knowing and learning.
- High School 12 to 18 Years - Separating and creating independance from the family