When Yosef finally reveals himself to his brothers, "Ani Yosef achichem," he continues and adds, "Asher m’chartem osi Mitzrayma." (45:4) Why did he needs to say that? The brothers had already admitted their guilt in selling Yosef and this was a moment of reconciliation. Why rub it in and remind them of their past wrongdoing?
The Netziv offers a practical answer. How would the brothers know that this was really Yosef and not some imposter? Rashi writes that when Yosef asked the brothers to come close, it was to show that his was mahul and thereby prove his identity (never mind the fact that in last week’s parsha Rashi writes that Yosef had everyone in Mitzrayim do milah.) Rashi also comments on, "Hinei eineichem ro’os ki pi ha’medaber aleichem…" that Yosef spoke to his brothers in lashon kodesh. The implication is that the Egyptians spoke Egyptian and would not have been able to converse in Hebrew (see Ramban). The Radomsker writes that normal speech is heard, but G-dly speech is seen. At Har Sinai we were "ro’im es ha’kolos." Yosef said to his brothers, "eineichem ro’os," you can see my speech -– that's only be possible when a tzadik is speaking. The Netziv sticks to the plain meaning of the text. There is one fact that only the real Yosef would have known, and that is the fact that he was sold into slavery by his brothers. "Asher m’chartem osi…" was Yosef’s proof that he was the real deal.
The Sefas Emes takes a completely different approach, one that is especially relevant to us. "Ani Yosef" is not just like saying, "Hi, I’m Bob." What Yosef was saying is that even though he is now the second in command of all of Egypt, a man vested with tremendous power who has risen from nothing to the pinnacle of Egyptian society, he is still the same Yosef, still their brother – the same one of the shivtei K-h, the same son who learned the Torah of Ya’akov Avinu. Can you imagine how the brothers felt when they suddenly saw the greatness of who Yosef was? Chazal tell us "oy lanu m’yom ha’din oy lanu m’yom tochacha," and the model of the ultimate rebuke of judgment day is this revelation of Yosef. The meforshim (see Seforno, Beis HaLevi) ask: where is the tochacha here? Yosef did not criticize his brothers and did not give them mussar – at best he just told them the facts of who he is and what they had done. The answer is that this itself in the tochacha. The brothers had deceived themselves into thinking Yosef was a rodef, an enemy, a threat, and they acted accordingly. When Yosef hatzadik revealed who he was and what he had achieved in ruchniyus, that whole illusion fell apart. When the day of real judgment comes Hashem will just show us the truth of who we are and what life is all about, all those illusions we spend a lifetime building up and sustaining will collapse. It won’t be pretty. So the brothers were sitting there thinking to themselves that if this is what Yosef hatzadik has become trapped away from home, surviving for years in the dungeons and prisons of Egypt, faced with temptations and distractions galore, imagine what he would have developed into had we not sold him!
The "Ani Yosef" of pasuk 3 was the shock/tochacha, but the "Ani Yosef" in pasuk 4 is the consolation, a response to the brothers pain, not a repetition. Yosef told his brothers that they had not deprived him of the opportunity for spiritual growth all those years he was away from home. To the contrary -– it wasn’t *in spite* of his being sold to Mitzrayim that he was Yosef hatzadik, but it was *because* he was sold to Mitzrayim that he was Yosef hatzadik. It’s the nisyonos, the challenges, the temptations that he overcame that made him that much greater. "Ani Yosef," said Yosef, and what made me who I am is "asher m’chartem osi."
Imagine a ninth-grader whose algebra teacher works her to the bone (I don't need to imagine -- I can look at one of my kids) leading her to complain nightly to her parents. Fast forward 20 years to when the same kid, after winning a Nobel Prize in math, visits her alma mata and greets her teacher, "Hi Mrs. So and So who worked me so hard in ninth grade!" Is that the same complaint of 20 years ago? Of course not! It's now the biggest praise, because 20 years later the fruits of that supposed hard work are evident. It's a bad mashal but it's the best I can do to give maybe a taste of taste of what's going on in the pasuk here.
When Hashem spoke to Moshe about the luchos that he broke, "asher shibarta," Chazal darshen "asher shibarta – y’yasher kochacha she’shibarta." Perhaps here too we may darshen "asher m’chartem osi – y’yasher kochachem she’m’chartem."
Yosef was not criticizing his brothers, but acknowledging that what they put him through was in the end, to his benefit.
Not everyone wants to be or can be a Yosef who can not only survive, but thrive in the outside world while maintaining their identity as a ben Torah. It's a challenge. But dealing with the challenge should not be seen as a hindrance to growth, a b'dieved, but aderaba, it should be seen as a vehicle through which one grows stronger.
(Thank goodness it's the Sefas Emes giving us the message that dealing with the challenges of the outside world made Yosef a greater, not lesser, person. Sounds like something you would expect from a YU guy like me : ) If you put on a spodek and say it, I guess it's all OK.)