Deciding to separate it is not always a easy decision to make. It may have taken months or even years for you to make the break because your children were too young or financially, it was easier for you to live in the same house for longer.
Each parental separation has different circumstances surrounding it but the common factor is the children. We all want to protect the kids from seeing or hearing things they should not see or hear.
It may or not be a big shock for them when you announce that you are going to separate. They may feel relieved. They may feel resentment or sadness. Whatever they are feeling you need to be on hand to talk to them about their feelings and listen to what they want to say and share.
‘Normal’ = Feeling Secure & Stable
Talking and listening are the two most important things you can do, along with trying to keep their life the same (or as close to the same) as it was. You can do this by keeping the same school routine, continue with weekend activities and having their friends back after school if that’s what they normally do.
House rules should also be kept the same as much as possible – this applies to both parent’s homes. This includes bedtimes and what the children can and can’t do – for example watch 15 movies or scary films, or stay out in the street till 10pm.
Keeping a child’s life as ‘normal’ as possible when their parents separate provides them with security and stability. If you are going through a separation, think about how the child is responding to the change in living arrangements. If they are not behaving in the way you want them to and you are listening and talking look at their routine – is it providing the security they need?